I just read Tempest’s post on abortion (a really good read!) and it reminded me about my abortion. Oh yeah, totes got a foetus sucked out of me. Am I scarred from it? No. But my date might have been..
*I was depressed
*Taking drugs occasionally (far less than what I used to take though)
*Wrote my car off drink driving
*Was living with a drug dealer
You know, the usual for a 19 year old 😛
So obviously I didn’t know this at the time, but took the morning after pill anyway (even though it was like 3 mornings after) and figured that was over with.
Meanwhile, around that exact time, a friend of a friend came over and hung out and admitted he wanted to start dating me. I didn’t exactly feel comfortable about telling him but after taking a preggo test, seeing a doc, booking in at a clinic, crunch time came..
I didn’t have a car anymore (plus you shouldn’t drive after the op), the flatmate was working and as far as I can remember had lost his licence or couldn’t get off work or something and guess who wanted to hang out? Oh yeah, this new guy.
I’m truly fucked. I asked if he could take me to get an abortion. Hahahahaha. And he said yes. What a legend.
Not liking babies or the idea of being a mum at this point in time was a bonus because in the waiting room we had a ball. We were laughing and carrying on like two people on a great date. There were death stares and someone may have been sobbing but I couldn’t give two shits. I had zero attachment to my parasite, and this guy was hilarious.
For those thinking I’m a heartless bitch (if you don’t by now, you probably will further into the story..), I’ll say this:
It was absolutely not the right time in my life, atmosphere to raise a baby in and potential co-parent to do this with. I have the choice and I chose what I felt was right, there was no question in my mind. Also it’s legal in Australia so I can have abortion parties with hookers everywhere if I want – the government says its cool.
So a week or so after all this, I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of a guitar. WTF. I went out in my living room in my PJs and there was a badass tattooed sexy mofo sitting on my couch playing guitar to my flatmate and friends. Apparently my flatmate found him at a club up the road and he came back to hang out. We got chatting, he was awesome. And he was interested in me!
But uhhh, that first guy..
Heartless bitch move #2: I dumped abortion guy. We hadn’t even had sex. I think we might have kissed but certainly nothing else. Ok yeah, he was a great guy but he wasn’t standout and to put it frankly, I was young. I was chasing whatever caught my interest.
Bad boy just happened to be ‘Ronald’ in this post if you want to know how that budding romance turned out.. Ha! Needless to say, I got more than enough karma.
To this day I still feel the pull to bad boys (and junkies) over good guys. And you’re welcome because it makes for good blogging ammo haha!
But in an attempt to win you back, I’ll tell you the lessons I’ve learnt:
1. The morning after pill should be taken the morning after.
2. I’m going to adopt kids. Well at least try my hardest to. I guess those who can’t naturally conceive get higher up the list and I get the ‘piss off and do it the natural way’ judgement and get thrown to the bottom of the list.
It took me quite a few years to come to the decision to try and adopt kids though. I can appreciate how hard it would be actually giving birth and handing over your baby straight away in the hopes they’ll have a better life. So I want to give them that good life, the positive upbringing and a loving family.
In my mind it seems more logical to give kids with no family a home rather than ignore them and start my own. I’m just more drawn to kids that already exist than creating my own. Although in saying that, bf said if I have kids with him that he wants a a child that carries his genes on. So that’s all he’s getting from me – one. The rest – adopted 🙂
3. I will most definitely talk to my kids about birth control and get my future daughters on something substantial. My parents never gave me the contraceptive talk and discussed options. I just relied on condoms (provided the guys had them). So I went from losing my virginity at 18 to getting pregnant at 19. I guess my folks figured I learnt at school but I went to a catholic school, enough said!
4. 19 year olds are fucked. Give them 1-2 years of being self centred, ignorant, drug riddled little shits and they’ll come back to you sweet as pie when it all passes.
No shame, no regrets folks. Just a pocket full of stories 😉
Except for the small fact that the doctor looked at my charts, said “ok so this is the strange one” to his nurse, then the anaesthetist put the thing over my face and that was the last I heard/remembered. WTF.
Someone earlier had mentioned the possibility of twins (then changed the topic before I could ask more!) but I wouldn’t exactly classify twins as “strange”?
So I’ll never know! Knowing my luck (and the quality of sperm that I was working with), I’m going to go right ahead and assume it had two heads.. Or a backwards head! OR THREE ARMS! :O