Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life


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A few filler fellas

Or a few filler fucks, but perhaps that’s a bit too crass for a heading. Also, How’s that for alliteration! Anyway, I thought I would get back to my conquest list.

There are a couple that are just not full blog worthy, so I thought I would just provide a quick list of some of the conquests that I can remember.

Sharing is caring: RG’s Ex

After the douche that broke my esteem, I was feeling terribly down and shitty about myself and just wanted to crawl up in a hole and die. Believing that no guy would want to touch me ever again if I was truly as disgusting as douche wad made me out to be.

So RG being the good friend she is said I should totally hit up her ex for a good time to help. And so I did.

Probably one of the most hilarious and awkward things I have done!


Two boring jack hammers

Then there are two guys from school that ended up as drunken screws. Nothing exciting, too drunk and no self esteem to care, ended up back at their place to be a starfish to their jack hammer. Walk of shame in the morning.


I didn’t know it at the time as I didn’t know them well enough, but apparently they both had girlfriends so I was unknowingly the “other woman” for a night. What jerks.

And that brings us to the double digits….

Nonsense unicorn

Conquest count: 11


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The Conquest List

I have a weird relationship with sex at the moment. The disconnect with my sexual side has got me thinking about stuff and things. But instead of having a whinge about that, I thought I would take a trip down memory lane and catalogue my sexual conquests on here.


Why? Mainly just because. Perhaps for the lols. Does it really matter? If anything I hope my awkward tales are entertaining.

How many are we looking at here? I don’t actually even know, maybe like under 20 or something like that, maybe 30…. I guess we will find out! And who knows I may learn something about myself or some crap like that.


And in return I reckon you should respond with your own conquest tales 😊

Nonsense unicorn