Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Roller skating Noob


Dear diary,

So I have discovered roller skating and have been obsessing for a month!

It’s kinda a nice feeling to actually feel excited and look forward to my class every week. I haven’t felt this kind of excitement for a while and it’s all that’s getting me through each week.

Besides the fact that I can’t stop, turn around or go backwards, or damn crouch low enough to do the shooting duck- it is so much fun!

My social anxiety goes through the roof at the same time, like thoughts that the instructor hates me and thinks I suck, or my skates are too bright.

And oh my god I think I have a nemesis! So at the beginning of each class we go around in circles to warm up, 2 advanced bitches were going in the wrong direction, one came right at me! My arms flailed and I braced for impact crying “sorry!!!” And she dodged last minute smirking at me. What a cunt nugget.

So now I’m more motivated to somehow get better and bowl the bitch down.

Moreover, I attempted to put toe guards on my new skates and stupidly burred the screw of my toe stop and now it’s stuck! I hope I haven’t broken it. Only had them for two weeks.

Anyway, just wanted to share my new found passion. Hope I don’t break any bones.

Yours sparklingly,

Nonsense Unicorn

FYI image courtesy of mile joos art. What a legend


Author: nonsenseunicorn

Just another twenty-something year old making sense out of madness. Boom.

8 thoughts on “Roller skating Noob

  1. I am trying to picture what a “cunt nugget” is and I have come to the conclusion that I am way too sober (or not high enough) for proper visual representation.


  2. Woo hoo!!!!! I am so proud of you. (and cunt nugget is amazing!!! And the Unicorn ❤ )
    Skating is the only place I can tell my social anxiety to go fuck itself. Are you still going???
    What is your end goal? Roller derby? Jam Skating like on my videos? I wish I knew where you lived… I have skate family kinda everywhere that might help a sister out!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s