Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life


Roller skating Noob

Dear diary,

So I have discovered roller skating and have been obsessing for a month!

It’s kinda a nice feeling to actually feel excited and look forward to my class every week. I haven’t felt this kind of excitement for a while and it’s all that’s getting me through each week.

Besides the fact that I can’t stop, turn around or go backwards, or damn crouch low enough to do the shooting duck- it is so much fun!

My social anxiety goes through the roof at the same time, like thoughts that the instructor hates me and thinks I suck, or my skates are too bright.

And oh my god I think I have a nemesis! So at the beginning of each class we go around in circles to warm up, 2 advanced bitches were going in the wrong direction, one came right at me! My arms flailed and I braced for impact crying “sorry!!!” And she dodged last minute smirking at me. What a cunt nugget.

So now I’m more motivated to somehow get better and bowl the bitch down.

Moreover, I attempted to put toe guards on my new skates and stupidly burred the screw of my toe stop and now it’s stuck! I hope I haven’t broken it. Only had them for two weeks.

Anyway, just wanted to share my new found passion. Hope I don’t break any bones.

Yours sparklingly,

Nonsense Unicorn

FYI image courtesy of mile joos art. What a legend