Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

The one that scarred me

4 Comments

There is only one time in my life that I have been the instigator for a sexual encounter. One time. Every other time has been guys pestering or wooing me and me conceding to their wiles.

This one time that I did the talking ended very badly for my self esteem.

I don’t really even want to think about it, so I’m just going to give a brief break down of what went down.


RG and I were out partying with the westie group of friends. We were both being cheeky and messaging one of the boys joking about having a threesome. He was already screwing another one of the girls, but he was intrigued.

The conversation turned to just me and him texting and with some persuasion I asked him back to our room for … You know…

So I drunkenly go back to the hotel room and wait for him. He arrives, chewing gum like a cow. It was a weird silent kind of awkward, as we were mates but not that close, and there wasn’t really any attraction.

So we tried to get it on a bit – I don’t even know if he finished or what, it was all a bit of “wtf are we doing…” And yeah blah he left. Fucking awkward and weird.

And then RG and some of the other boys come back and we make a bunk tent and pass out.

Then the next day while I’m at home on the couch hungover as fuck I get a text message from the dude.

It said something  along the lines of

Hey bro

Yeah I went back and fucked her. She is disgusting I felt so dirty afterwards I had to have 10 showers.

I remember my heart feeling like it stopped when I read that. I knew that it was awkward, but to read that I was disgusting?! Plus the old “oh sorry that wasn’t meant for you” message that followed.


I replied something back to the likes of “wow, yeah that was a mistake and crap and shouldn’t have done it, but thanks for making me feel like a piece of shit now”. I should have said that his tiny thin dick wasn’t worth my time either, but I’m not as mean as him.

After that I avoided him like the plague for a good few years. At social gatherings I ignored him and pretended he wasn’t there.

A couple of years later at a wizard party he cornered me And apologised for the whole deal. I accepted, told him it was a pretty shitty line to take, that I didn’t enjoy it after but his unkind words really fucked my self esteem up for a long time (yeah take that guilt trip you asshole).

Even though he apologised, we still floated away as friends.

Thinking about that still makes my heart ache. I can deal with the usual rejection due to me being a crazy bitch, but I still can’t shake the view that I am disgusting.

And I still haven’t initiated anything with anyone since then.
Conquest count: 6

Nonsense unicorn

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Author: nonsenseunicorn

Just another twenty-something year old making sense out of madness. Boom.

4 thoughts on “The one that scarred me

  1. Some humans are just awful. I have no idea why ‘bro’ sorts of guys insult women like that. What’s the point? Isn’t it a good thing to get laid? Why on earth be into fucking and pro-sex, but then disrespect women who are willing to do it? Sure the chemistry isn’t always there, but sex is supposed to be like pizza as the quote goes… Being an asshole towards women just makes no sense whatsoever, I’ll never get it. Anyway, sad story

  2. Sorry … that’s a sad one. He sure was a dick

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