Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

How I popped my cherry

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It was the summer of 69…. Or 2004. We had just finished school (take that you pious ass wipe of a school) and had a few weeks before heading off to schoolies (which is a whole different story).
I was the younger half of the grade, only 17, but that didn’t stop us from getting our drink on. What difference was a few months until you’re legal?! Every weekend there was some kind of party going on.
First to give a bit of back story: I never really had heaps of experience with guys as a teenager. I didn’t give blow jobs, I had my first kiss at the end of year 10 (with some random at a dance party, how romantic), had a boyfriend for a month and that’s about it. Yet still in my inexperience, I was never the kind of girl that held my cherry in such a high regard.
So yeah, schools over and we are drinking and hanging with some friends in a park near RG’s house. A group of them were some guys a couple years older than us (21 maybe to our 17? I can’t remember…) from some suburbs away (how we knew them was a different kettle of fish).

(Aah Benny, there was no magic carpet ride for me…)

Something something I end up making out with one of the guys in a gazebo and he invites me over to his place the next day to “watch some TV”. Even in my inexperienced naivety, I knew what he meant by that. And I agreed.

I still remember the apathy I felt about the situation. No emotion about it, just “well everyone else has done it so let’s get it over with. At least this guy is super hot”.
So the next day I drive out an hour to this guys suburb. I sit in mycar park waiting for him to come get me because this was back in the day when a GPS was too expensive for a 17 year old working in a discount shop.
Gwen Stefani What You Waitin For plays on the radio as he pulls up and I try to remember if that’s him (still can’t listen to that song).
Blah blah he takes me back, awkward conversation, awkward silences, he takes me back to his room and starts getting it on.
I think my virginity was seeping through my skin because he asked “… Is this your first time?”
Fuck, is it that obvious?
I coyly nod, and surprisingly he was cool and was all like “well you should be on top because you will have more control” and yeah…. 

Cherry popped.

And I drove home.
Not a romantic story at all, butit definitely   opened the door to a strange strange world.

Ps rumour has it soon after all that he became super religious. This is another “coincidence” of men who have turned to God after having a taste of the unicorn… But that’s another story…

Nonsense unicorn 


Author: nonsenseunicorn

Just another twenty-something year old making sense out of madness. Boom.

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