Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life


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Revenge Scenarios

People like to talk about the assholes in their life and how they have hurt them so bad. Heck, I’m sure everyone has done it – you know, turn yourself into a martyr because someone hurt you.

Resentment: it burns in the depths of your soul and fuels sweet sweet fantasies of exacting perfect revenge on those who crossed you.

  
It turns you into a spiritual guru knowing that karma baby, karma will get them.

You even become totes great mates with the horsemen of the apocalypse knowing that they’ll get what’s coming to them.

You viscerally thrive on their misfortunes because damn they deserve it for ever crossing you.

It just makes me wonder…. What about all the times you were the asshole? Because let’s face it, it’s human nature to hurt and be hurt.

How would you feel knowing that someone you hurt – it could have been unintentional in your eyes, but caused a world of devastation for someone else – knowing, that they were funnelling all their anger and resentment into you?

What if all your bad luck and shortcoming was because of someone opening the karma gates on your ass?

People are always quick to martyr themselves and so very differently ever accept their own douchebaghery.

So, I’m gonna admit to some of the times where I was indeed the asshole – and yeah sorry about that aye?!

  • The friend who I would joke about sexually innuendo-like for ages, we slept together to kinda break the tension, even went onValentines dates and concerts. And then I just ran off with another boy – in retrospect I now realise he liked me for real real and I just thought we were mucking around.  Sorry for being a heartless jerk bro.
  • That time I was meant to meet a friend who came to my suburb but I was in a depressed stupor and stood her up. Depression isn’t an excuse to be an asshole, I’m sorry.
  • That other time I went interstate with some friends and had an anxiety attack so ditched them for the weekend and went to stay with a boy (who stopped me from getting on a plane home by myself). I should have communicated my feelings but I was a dick.
  • This story is very multi layered, but I was a jerk for getting  so drunk that I let a friend who had a girlfriend have a shower with me and then he touched me and told his girlfriend. Being drunk ain’t no excuse, I should have told him to back off. Sorry girlfriend for letting that happen.
  • That guy on New Years who thought I was beautiful and face raped me – instead of being honest and telling him I’m not interested I just ran away and hid. That was a dick move.
  • That other guy who stalked me at work and gave me his business card – instead of being honest I threw his card away. Sorry for all the effort you went to.
  • The other friend I was close to and slept with and then instead of being cool I got all awkward and avoided him like the plague. That was very immature and I’m really sorry for being lame like that.

And there’s heaps more I can dig up, but I’ll stop there.

I guess the moral of the story is sometimes you gotta back away from the revenge train and take a good hard look at yourself and stop being the asshole you don’t think you are.

Nonsense unicorn

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