Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

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It’s illegal to argue

Apparently having an argument with your partner equates to domestic violence these days.

Long story short, the boy and I were having a heated discussion/ argument about something that went down on Sunday night (I cracked the shits because he was smoking, not listening to me blah blah so I was a moody bitch and left to go home by myself and told him to sleep at his mates place because nobody puts baby in the corner and all that).

You know how it goes when you try to break down an argument – both parties get emotional trying to work things out and be heard. We were both hurt, crying, talking loudly at each other.

No violence, no malice, no swearing even – just two people pleading from their hearts to be heard.

Now, the door was open and sound travels like a mofo in our place (last Saturday it sounded like our neighbours were having a karaoke competition right in our living room it was so loud). 

Police knock on the door. Great. A neighbour had called them.

One takes me outside to ask what was happening and the other talked to boy. He sounded like he already had made up his mind that violence was totes Happening here, asking if there were firearms (wtf? Isn’t that illegal?) and if I fear for my life. UH NO we just had an argument. I cracked the shits last night and we were trying to work out what happened. Seriously. Am I not allowed to cry? Is boy not allowed to be hurt by my depressed numb responses?

I assured him that it was just a normal relationship argument – cos that’s all that happened.

Now, I get that they are cracking down because the sad truth is that domestic violence is a problem. But what pisses me off is that they still don’t believe you when you tell them the truth.

Like what the fuck, no one even said fuck! I’m a loud cryer and boy has a loud projecting voice (doesn’t need a microphone at karaoke).

What annoys me the most is that they make out that boy is some culprit and I am some victim. Like, men get abused too! Would they be so pedantic if a man called up and complained? 

Even after I told them there’s no violence here, I get a call from some women’s violence advocacy group today! Fuck off!

No one is a victim here. We are just two passionate individuals working shit out.

So there you have it folks – you are never allowed to argue with someone ever again because it’s illegal.

Ps: screw you nosy old bat who made the call. Hope that gives you enough gossip.

Nonsense unicorn



Take a picture (it lasts longer)

So I was out at dinner for a friend’s birthday this evening. One of her friends was apparently allergic to photos.
Whenever anyone went to take a photo, even a whole group shot, she would make the effort to make it clear that “I don’t do photos” and not be included. 
She is either a vampire or so deeply consumed in her insecurities to act this way.
And so I got thinking.

Get over yourself. The photo is not about you, or your double chin, pimple or whatever else you deem to be so hideous as to not be worthy of pictorial evidence.

Who actually likes their photo taken? Minus the narcissists and selfie taking teens in this world. Many people don’t find it comfortable, but you do it to let your friends capture a moment.
That’s what it is. It’s about catching a moment. Freezing a memory in time. Just another leaf of the book in your life, a moment you are alive and living and existing. A moment that you can look back on when you are questioning reality and remind yourself “I am indeed alive”.

So just take the fucking photo and get over it. Besides, everyone will be looking at their own double chins and not yours anyway.
Nonsense unicorn