Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen!

10 Comments

Whoever made this up is a dickhead. Treat us mean and we’ll want to move on because douchebaggery is lame.
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I guess the real quote should be:

Be slightly mysterious and aloof and we’ll want to jump your bones.

But take note – I said SLIGHTLY. Too much in the aloof department and it’ll be a turn off. Who said women were hard to understand? 😛

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Let me give you some examples of hot vs not mystery/aloof attitude from my own life:

1. I started dating this friend of a friend. He was in his early 20’s, had an American accent (I’m Australian, foreign accents are hot), owned a house and had 2 cars. He never spoke about his homeland. HOT. I’ll find out more about him as time goes on.

2. One day like 2 months later, he had an Australian accent. Turns out he put it on to pick me up. Also, his parents bought his house and he was paying them back. He worked for his dad so one of his cars was a work vehicle paid for by the company. Not as hot, I would have preferred honesty but I’ll continue to date you anyway.

3. A guy I started seeing told me he couldn’t holiday in Mexico and didn’t want to talk about why. I said he should actually tell me if it had anything to do with rape, murder or animal cruelty. He said it wasn’t anything like that. Bad boy hey? HOT.

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4. The same guy told me he “invested” money into a friend’s business. Thats literally all the details he gave and didn’t care to talk about it again. He ‘invested’ regularly. He would leave sometimes at 9pm (wearing a hat even though it was dark) to drop off money. Take into consideration the mexico thing and all signs point to drug dealing. NOT HOT.

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5. He later told me he had nothing to do with drugs. His friend bought luxury cars that were a bit run down and did them up and he helped finance it. I never met the friend, saw any cars, saw any photos of the cars or even heard them talk on the phone. NOT HOT. Too mysterious. Please don’t murder me in my sleep.

Yes, people have their own lives and don’t want to give over every detail right at first meeting, this is totally fine.

In fact, having your own life is sexy. Someone who is overly keen and seems to have no real life is [in the beginning anyway] not that sexy.

So to “keep em keen”:
*Don’t be mean – Use nice things about yourself to attract a mate.
*Keep some things to yourself – keep a bit of mystery going. You also don’t want to run out of stories within a month and find you have nothing left to talk about.

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*Don’t answer within .1 of a second of a text coming in – keep a little bit aloof. You have a life remember.
*If your potential partner wants to know more details about something, tell them – if you don’t want to talk about it then you look suss as fuck.

By now you’re probably thinking ‘yeah but RG, the whole ‘keeping them keen’ mentality is in respect to long term relationships, not new ones!’ Well let me put this bluntly – if your long term partner is suddenly mysterious or aloof, they’re either not in love with you anymore or are cheating on you. Or both. Or maybe hes doing some sneaky drug dealing on the side to get some money because hes dying of cancer (Breaking Bad fans are totes feelin’ me here). If your long term partner is legitimately treating you mean, you don’t like it and they continue to do so after talking about it, then that is abuse.

Yes, the other underlying point of mention is in relation to being younger. This quote totally applies to school kids where for example, a boy will pick on a girl if he has a crush on her. But how often does the girl go for the bully? We grow up into adults and learn to turn this into fun banter, none of which I would describe as ‘mean’.

So let’s all give scathing glares to whatever dickhead made this quote up on behalf of all the girls who were treated mean and all the guys who tried it out and we’re hastily knocked back. It’s a load of crap.

Rambling Goat

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Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

10 thoughts on “Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen!

  1. I’m looking out for whoever to glare at scathingly.

  2. Dating without knowing a guy’s job, really? Seems like being mysterious would work like the very first time you meet/hook up, but by the next day it’s just plain shady to be that aloof.

    I always thought the best way to text back was to match the timing. If someone texts you back in a minute text them back in a minute, if an hour then an hour. Don’t be too eager or be mean, seems an easy system. In fact, I think matching others energy is generally a good way to connect.

    Well all kinds out there and hey it’s fun to figure it out as we go!

    • I always knew their jobs, sorry if that was miscommunicated!

      We should always be ourselves and we either match or don’t but in saying that, there’s certainly ways to not scare someone off so quickly 😛 It sounds like super basic stuff but it’s soooo common, go figure!

      And I think I love mystery because it keeps the excitement going. It’s not a race to find out if they tick all the boxes or not, like you said, it’s fun to figure out so why not just enjoy the journey? 🙂

      • Absolutely, ideally we should all be ourselves. Yet somehow in all the bullshit of life the male-female thing has put on a lot of pretensions. It may take a while, but I hope the goal is that we can all grow to be comfortable with ourselves and confident and just share ourselves and meet someone nice to share time with 🙂

  3. There is a sub-strata of womenkind who respond well to aforementioned being treated mean. They like submitting to a strong dominant man; it makes them juicy inside and out. They’re the type who find themselves in ball-gags and restraints. Everybody has their kink and it doesn’t always involved play-time.

    • Hi GK. I think its all in the intention of the word ‘mean’. I currently submit to two men (one as a partner, one as a play partner only) and I know that neither of them would ever treat me mean/cruel/unjust. Here’s a good link that explains it well:

      I and most other submissives believe that:
      1. Submission is earned after a dominant shows they can treat a sub respectfully.
      2. Things which may be considered ‘mean’ by vanilla folks (spanking, restraints etc) are fair and/or wanted by subs (either they like it or will do it to make their dom – and ultimately them – happy). In proper d/s relationships there’s always a safe word and everything is able to be spoken about without judgement.

      I guess the only ones who have truly mean doms are those that don’t know their rights.

      • I’m not just talking about playtime. That’s a follow-on from the more important ‘mean’ i.e. getting a woman to believe that she needs or wants him more than he wants or needs her. That is derived from an old addage that postulates that women want what they can’t have…because they like a challenge. If a man is too available, too easy, the woman doesn’t respect him and it fizzles out. Being emotionally ‘mean’ gets a woman to make an effort. If you remember my revenge with my Exgf, then that is a typical example of what I’m talking about. While we were a couple there was no way she would have done the things I got her to do.

        • I agree with you. I’m not just talking about playtime either and I think your description relates back to my initial quote “Be slightly mysterious and aloof and we’ll want to jump your bones.” 🙂

  4. I find it annoying when you don’t like someone so you treat them mean, but they think you’re into them but you’re all like NO dammit this ain’t some reverse psychology mumbo jumbo I just don’t like you!

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