Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Nonsense Review: Skyrim (the NU guide)

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For those who don’t want to read the whole post: Skyrim is pretty much the best game ever in the universe of gaming so just get it and sell your soul to the eternal heavenly bliss of awesomeness.

It’s so radical that I’ve been playing it for like 5 years or some crap like that and I haven’t event finished the main story yet. Why? Because it is the game that just keeps giving!

Why do the main quest when I can be a farmer, or thief, or assassin, or spend hours running around aimlessly stumbling across secret temples?! The possibilities are endless which makes it a game that never gets old.

It’s also the perfect game you can always go back to in between the other games you try to play but end up being sorely disappointed by cos they’re not as fun/ big/ long/ exciting as Skyrim is.

  
The lowdown 

You start out as some povo person who actually has the blood of a dragon and is destined to save the world from evil dragons. What’s not to love about that?! 

So not only are you some hectic dragon warrior, but you also solve some civil war and all this other stuff along the way.

Make your own character

The first 20 hours of the game is spent making your own character! You can choose from a range of races, from elves, dark elves, lame nords, LIZARDS, or awesome cat people.

So, I’ve been going through as a dragon born CAT boom.

  
What’s cool about that is that your convos through the game can change depending on what race you are. Like some losers think it’s cool to call me a “milk drinker” yeah?! Well… Let me smack ya with my FLUFFY TAIL. That’s what I thought.

  
Horses defy gravity

Horses are from Mars and can traverse any landscape, including mountains 

  
And they fight for you like equine ninjas.

Bonus fun tip: climb to the highest mountain and see how far you can jump off on your horse. You have no idea how many hours are wasted doing this. The hilarity that ensues is worth it.

Question your morals

So there’s also some hectic religious stuff going on in the background where you may meet these demon peeps called Daedra. Some of them are evil and some are questionable…. But all of them usually result in some awesome weapons or glory.

Will you sacrifice an innocent pleb for the glory for an awesome demonic sword? Will you?!? I think yes.

  
Glitches

So yeah okay, the game might glitch sometimes. But let’s just not talk about that ok? Besides, if you save your game appropriately then the glitches are just hilarious! Like floating 2 metres above your horse like some mofo ghost. What’s not to love?

  
Summary

I give Skyrim a lifetime of high fives, because let’s face it – I’ve got the attention span of a walnut, so for something to keep ME entertained for eternity it must be good!

Nonsense Unicorn

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Author: nonsenseunicorn

Just another twenty-something year old making sense out of madness. Boom.

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