Social anxiety (or what I prefer to call “hermit hoboness”) is a pickle of a dickle to live with. It’s this thing that looms over you and squelches your heart into palpitations when faced with the prospect of *gasp* interacting with humans.
Let me give you a low down on the things that are normal for most but are sucky or terrify me.
Phone calls bring pain
I hate talking to people on the phone. It’s painful. The stress of not being able to hear them, or understand Them, or talk to someone I don’t know. Ergh.
Every ring gives me a heart attack and I battle to decide whether to answer the phone or not.
Hence why my phone is always on silent. Or I just leave it upstairs – out of sight out of mind.
The dreaded greeting hug
What is with everyone and their need to physically touch me?
Can’t a wave suffice? Thumbs up perhaps?
The worst is when it’s a hug kiss combo. Why not through acid in my eyes too?!?
HUGS ARE MY KRYPTONITE DONT TOUCH ME.
Friends scare me
You would think that you should feel comfortable around your friends and be yourself, yeah? Not for me. Even with the best of friends, I still get incredibly apprehensive meeting them and hanging out.
Even having a good time makes my face ache.
Meeting new people is torture
Why not just lock me up in an iron maiden covered in my own feces instead?
Meeting people turns me into a deer in headlights – I just freeze and want to die. We met some blogger friends who can probably attest to me being as exciting as a limp lemur on morphine. Can’t. Deal. With. Newness. Ugh.
Not to mention having to remember new names, and then you forget their name and then you die.
New people + the greeting hug = certain death
Pretty sure murder is evil, soooo….. if you haven’t known me for 28 years then don’t touch me or you will have a spontaneously combusted corpse to clean off your shoes.
Everybody hates me
Because the situation is so stressful, you overthink every single thing and come to the conclusion that you suck and everybody hates you and WHY DID YOU COME OUT OF YOUR CAVE?
Omg you said something and no one responded – THEY THINK YOU SUCK.
Does that chick have dirt in her eye? NOPE SHE HATES YOU YOU CREEPY FUCKER.
It’s near impossible to just chillax and not be thinking about every single move you make so that you don’t implode and die.
…………aaaaaand I just got turkey slapped.
Lost my spot now – so YEAH there’s an insight into the world of social anxiety. So next time you judge someone for being quiet, or boring, or creepy, just take a moment to think about what kind of internal battle may be going on.