Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Parent Sex


I never grew up thinking my existence began with a stork kidnapping me from a cabbage patch and shoving me in my parent’s letter box.  I remember always being a somewhat rational and realistic child. I don’t ever recall getting “the talk” either, and I think it is due to the unfortunate placement of my bedroom next to that of my parents.

If only…. oh, if only…

Through the bangs and groans and slaps and ooohs pounding through the walls and into my fragile ear drums,  I learnt at a very young age that *gasp* my parents had sex. And it angered and disgusted me.  I would lie awake at night, exhausted already because falling asleep was always an arduous task anyway, blocking my ears and yelling shut the hellll upppp to no avail.

Through this, I believe a deep subconscious disdain for the sexual world began brewing in my soul.

Yeah I’m an adult now, but fuck the excuse it’s what adults do when they love each other and other bull crap to create an excuse for it.  Well, no, you were just not giving a shit about how your children will react or think about it.  It scars the fuck out of your soul.  I didn’t realise how much this has pissed me off until it randomly came up during couples counselling the other day when the psych was asking about attitudes towards sex growing up.  Years and years later, and thinking about it still makes my body react and want to vomit.

So now I’m blaming their sex for my non-existent libido and invisible wall inside me that doesn’t let me release my full sexual potential.  Yes parents,  my sexual disfunction is your loud and moaning fault.

Moral of the Story: if you’re going to roast the broomstick, have the courtesy to make sure that your children are 150% oblivious to it, or you can be royally soiling their mind.

Nonsense Unicorn


Author: nonsenseunicorn

Just another twenty-something year old making sense out of madness. Boom.

3 thoughts on “Parent Sex

  1. That sounds pretty fucked up, honestly. People, especially children, do need boundaries at times! Sexual education is one thing, important, but kids don’t need live examples!

    My parents hated each other and I can’t even remember them kissing, we all have problems. In fact, being a child is generally terrible. The bright side though is to be a (albeit a bit damaged) grownup who can do whatever you want 🙂

    Hope the counseling is helping you to deal with it, good luck

  2. Well I too heard some odd noises coming from my parents bedroom one time. I went storming down the hall to figure out what was going on, burst in and [thankyou self for stomping so loud] they were just laying there casually under the blankets. They then said they were “making love”, I ran into my brothers room and told him mum and dad were “DOING IT!!!” Then I went and cried and slept on the couch downstairs. Mum came and found me and I never heard any noises from their bedroom after that incident.

    So yes, I totally and absolutely agree that it is completely detrimental to the mental health of a child. In saying that, I had sex twice yesterday soooo I think with more counselling you can totally get past it.

    And ray – my parents never kissed either. Or hugged, held hands or told eachother they loved eachother. And they only hugged me rarely and for a reason (birthdays, winning a medal etc). It wasn’t an affectionate household. My parents have been together for about 32 years though so I guess it works for them.

    Anyway we’re all a little fucked up from our environment but it can totally be worked on 🙂 I’m affectionate now even though I didn’t have any examples to learn from and yes I was scarred about sex but now I’m not 🙂 NU, I have faith that you can work through it, just don’t hurry – do one small step at a time.

  3. I walked in on my parents. I knew how babies were made since I was three. No scars. In fact, I think I’m healthier and better adjusted for having such shameless parents.

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