Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

What constitutes a date?


There seems to be this awkward grey area when:
A) you’re not exclusive with someone or are single
B) start talking to people on a non-dating website
C) want to meet the person you’ve been talking to.

If it was a dating website then yes, fair enough, you go on a date. But if you’ve started communicating through social media (Facebook/Fetlife/LinkedIn/Instagram/Twitter), it’s not entirely obvious.

Is it a date? Are you just friends? Are you thinking you’re just friends and they think it’s a date? I’ve noticed that no one is blunt about it. And I’m probably adding to the confusion because I’m not blunt either..

In my defense though, I’m not actively seeking anyone and I like meeting interesting and fun people. So yes, it could eventuate to play or dating but how do I know before I meet the person?! We might just hit it off as friends and keep it at that. Friends just ‘hang out’ don’t they?

And it’s not just online interactions that have me stumped, no no, it happens in the good ol real world too. A workmate today was talking about a restaurant that sounded awesome. I said “oh wow, I want to go there!” and he responded with “we should go!”. Insert awkward pause. I’m thinking ‘did he just insinuate he wanted to take me on a date there?!’

I assume he was thinking one of these options;
1. ‘Oh god, that sounded whheeeeyyyy too much like I wanted to take her on a date..’
2. ‘Yes! Totally asked her out and it sounded so casual. Damn I’m smooth.’
3. ‘Did I just miss something there? She’s not responding and looking at me strangely.’

Maybe “we” meant ‘you, me and a bunch of other people’?

Ugh. Humans are so confusing. Wise folk out there please enlighten me – what constitutes a date? Dinner at a fancy restaurant for a first ‘meeting’ is most likely a date, but activities like having a coffee or having a couple of drinks could be a friend ‘hangout’ OR a date. Can you have a date with a friend??

Rambling Goat


Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

17 thoughts on “What constitutes a date?

  1. I definitely think you c an have a date with a friend! If you go out…it’s a date! Semantics!

  2. It’s really quite simple. Forget about the terminology “date” or not, just assume that every guy you know wants to get in your pants… either now or in the future. Even most “friends” would jump at an opportunity, so just assume there’s a sexual undertone to everything and you’ll be right far more often than you’ll be wrong. šŸ˜‰

  3. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a first date cos they are always a one night stand that don’t go away! So can’t help ya with this one lol.

    • Bahaha obviously you impressed them enough during the night and they want more, reow! šŸ˜‰

      But yes, I honestly can’t say I’ve ‘dated’ much. More like ‘became someone’s parasite and had sex with them a bunch’. How romantic šŸ˜›

  4. Sometimes it’s very vague and fuzzy to define these things. Although that makes it complicated, sometimes it’s less awkward to leave it ambiguous.

    I find that I don’t like calling hanging out dates. Even if I pay and all that gender role stuff. But, if it happens to turn out romantic later, I will then retroactively label the previous hanging out to be a date. Makes sense?

    • I like that idea! So maybe I’ll just assume friendship and then backtrack and claim it all as dates if things look promising for a relationship.

      And yeah, I’m still funny about people paying for things for me. I’ll always get out my wallet and try to get out money. While drinks and snacks are kind of easy to write off as a kind gesture though, someone paying for my dinner makes me freak out. The cheapskate in me is worried about them wasting their money, go figure!

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