Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Interviews and Spit

9 Comments

I’ve been a bit quiet this week because I’ve been applying for jobs.

My last interview ended up with my identity most likely being stolen (#5) so when I had another interview come up I was worried to say the least.

On top of this worry, in true RG fashion, a whole bunch of other shit went wrong right before the interview.
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Based directly off my day yesterday, let’s create a list of things you don’t want to happen before an interview:

1. Horrible dreams (that you then can’t get out of your head) right before you wake up.
2. The email with details of your interview that was casually sitting in your inbox is MISSING – it somehow made it to the trash folder.
3. You get sent an email beforehand with paperwork to fill out and yet no time to do it.
4. Phone credit runs out (yes, you’re jobless and can’t commit to a phone plan).
5. Can’t find a pair of socks. You put two odd socks on but one is thick and one is thin. Tip: two thin socks equals a thick sock. For realsies.
6. Get told by a grandma to “leave the jumper on” aka she doesn’t like your blouse.
7. Can’t find your chapstick and you have super chapped lips.
8. One eye is bloodshot.
9. Get advice on your behaviour (to prepare youreself for a behavioral test) from a very blunt 20-something year old guy.
10. Remember on the way there that you’ve forgotten to put deodorant on.
11. Sit in a waiting room that has no air-con with your jumper on and no deodorant.
12. Drink heaps of water to cool down – it’ll make you need to wee right before you’re meant to go in to the interview.
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Then the dreaded interview. I’m pretty happy and friendly so it usually goes well but wtf is up with asking weird questions! I got asked “can you tell us what ‘service delivery’ means?” I answered with “delivering a service a presume?” Haha logic for the win! But still, curveball questions are not cool.

After walking out of the interview room, I called DD. He half joked that I should come meet up with him for lunch. Now for a bit of background on where we’re at, I haven’t seen him in 9 months, we stopped talking when I got back with bf (bfs request), we reconnected recently when bf and I split but I have been taking things super slow because I’m currently still living with my [now] ex. I can’t play around while I’m still living here, it’s a courtesy thing.

So fuck it, I thought lunch would be nice (and platonic). We grabbed a sandwich and went and sat in a park. It was a little bit awkies because although it was nice to catch up and update eachother on our lives (he said he thought about me every day *blush*), I figured there had to be a kiss in there somewhere. It should have happened naturally but I’m going to admit it happened because all I could think about was he had given me $400 recently. I felt I owed him a kiss.

Maybe if he hadn’t given me money it would have happened anyway? At any rate, the kiss went a little left field so to speak.. He licked my lips with a pointy tongue. Everytime I tried to kiss normal, he licked. Sooooo yeah. Anyone in the park who looked over would have had to deal with that. *I* had to deal with that. Not really sure what else to say..
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Maybe he has a licking fetish? I don’t have a licking fetish so from my end, I’m not sure what to do about it. I honestly don’t remember this happening last time, although I do remember him occasionally licking my skin when we played? Hmmm..

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The Pokemon franchise totally gets it.

We said our goodbyes when I realised I’d taken wayyyy too long. I was now into the timezone of being picked up from the train station by my ex. And of course I hopped on the train without going to the bathroom.

So there I was, wearing 3 odd socks, smelling of B.O., desperately trying not to pee my pants (Why does this keep happening?!), my lips covered in (and smelling of) spit, on the way to a potential awkward encounter with my ex.

But of course there were rainbows! The ex was so busy talking about himself that he didn’t connect the dots about my time frame, NU had giggled with me about my ‘smelling of spit’ problem and we decided a muesli bar and wiping my mouth with a wet tissue would fix it (it did) and….

I got the job.

Except I turned it down. LOL!
Long story short, a better offer came up and I’m risking it all to try out for the better job. Stay tuned for possibly another awky interview day haha 😛

Rambling Goat

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Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

9 thoughts on “Interviews and Spit

  1. I’m so glad to hear you got not one – but two! – jobs. Huzzah to you.

    The day sounded absolutely hilarious. Probably less so at the time; I get that. But it all worked out 🙂

    I once rushed so fast to get to the bathroom before a client meeting (I was at their offices) that I ended up in the men’s bathroom by mistake – and my client was in the stall next to me. I had to lift up my shoes just in case he looked!!

  2. Whew! I got exhausted reading that, lol!

  3. Good advice on the socks

  4. Pingback: Just a little update. | Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

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