Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

What I’ve learnt from Fetlife


If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, high libido + haven’t had sex in a month = addiction to fetlife. My brain hasn’t been able to fathom putting together words for a post for you (and the one I managed to do, deleted itself grrr! I’ll do it again soon..). Basically the vagina is controlling the brain right now.

On the plus side, I managed a new record – 4 wanks in 24 hrs. Apparently that isn’t that much according to a couple of guy friends, but nevertheless, that was probably my blogging time being spent elsewhere…

So my life has been fetlife, wanking, drinking, working like crazy (7 days a week at the moment) and I’m moving house tomorrow so packing and cleaning fits in there somewhere. But rest assured, I’ve been feeling guilty, so I’ll try and give you a quick post!

I figured seeing as I’ve been on fetlife a fair bit, I’d run you through what I’ve learnt from this magical and very kinky social network:

1. ‘Weirdness’ is embraced
Got a love of feet? Latex? Sloppy kisses, saliva transfer and spitting? Girls dressed as cats? Sucking on pacifiers/dummys? Gas masks? Play rape? Scuba outfits? Being beaten until you’re covered in purple welts? Having sex with married men? Playing ‘mummy’? Playing ‘daddy’?

These are just some of my friends on fetlife. And there are tons more variations, all chillin’ out, chatting to one another. Abnormal is totes the new normal o.O


2. Fetlife encourages you to grow more fetishes
I went on there with what I thought was *maybe* one or two ‘fetishes’ – A title which I scoffed at. Surely I like these things the same amount as other people so how can they be a fetish?

Well I now apparently have farrrr more than 1-2 and I’m realising they probably are fetishes. Not everyone is into mine, just like I’m not into a bunch of fetishes that my friends seem to like. But after chatting to friends about theirs, some have appealed to me and boom. Now I have a reasonably sized fetish list that just keeps growing.

3. Bdsm is a whole big wide world
It’s a biiiig world but thankfully there’s plenty of articles and friendly people to guide and support you along the way šŸ™‚

There’s just so much to learn! You learn tons about yourself and you can learn as little or as much as you want in regards to bdsm and fetishes.

4. Most people are really lovely
Most fetlifers have realised that it’s silly to judge – no one is better or worse, we’re all different.

I say *most* are lovely because there’s always some dickhead in the crowd. You get it everywhere.

4. Exhibitionism works in your favour
If you’re like me and like perving on naughty photos, well luckily there’s a bajillion hot girls and guys taking photos and showing anyone who’s interested. You don’t even need to ‘friend’ or talk to half of them :O

Of course it’s hit and miss though – along with the erotic models and cute guys and girls next door, there’s old man dick pics. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

5. Fetlifers aren’t all extremists
Yeah, there’s plenty that are into water sports (urine play, not kayaking), or Master/Slave relationships, or full latex outfits but there’s plenty that aren’t. In fact, the more time I spend on there, the more I realise that these ‘extreme’ fetishes/relationship styles aren’t even that extreme. Sure, I’m not into them but some are and I can appreciate that other people enjoy them for various reasons.

Lets be honest though, crawling in and eating poop is pretty bloody extreme. I’ve only come across one photo of that on fetlife and it was copied from a scat porn website rather than an actual person doing it at home. Judging by the ‘hard limits’ listed on people’s profiles, I can safely say that scat play is pretty rare.

So lets go with proper extremism is not really as prevalent as I would have thought. There are a bunch of vanillas and photographers on there chillin’ out and mostly the rest of fetlifers only have a few kinks (eg. shibari is really popular)


All in all, fetlife is interesting. It amuses me, arouses me and infuriates me. I’ve made some good friends there, learnt a bunch, analysed myself and laughed a lot. The ‘wtf’ face appeared quite a few times.

If you’re interested in bdsm, I highly recommend joining the community. On one hand it’s nice to have this side of my life kept as a dirty little secret but the logic part in my brain says the more the merrier! The more people who accept us for our kinkiness, the less taboo bdsm will be. If absolutely nothing else, I hope I’m encouraging you to be more open minded šŸ™‚

Rambling Goat


Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

7 thoughts on “What I’ve learnt from Fetlife

  1. Love this! My time on fet has very much desensitized me to many things I used to think were very extreme and I find I like many of those same things now myself. It’s such a wonderful community. I definitely advocate for anyone to join if they think they might have the slightest interest! The more the merrier, indeed!

  2. So glad to find another paddling the same river and boat that I am! And yes, Fetlife does help to calm my libido a little bit as well (giggle)

  3. Hey, 4 times is a very respectable record. Don’t sell yourself short.

  4. I’ve missed you!!! But I guess I could have been more active on FetLife lately and seen you there šŸ™‚

    Um, it’s not just your guy friends that might say 4 in 24 isn’t all that much… I’m probably at double that. But I suspect I might be a bit extreme… but given the topic of this post and what I’ve seen on FetLife, I am a timid mouse with a low libido šŸ˜‰

  5. Can’t. Find. The. Awesome. Button.
    Okay, I’ll leave a nice comment instead. :))

  6. you do find all-sorts on there! (luckily I found you!) šŸ™‚

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