Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Are You Attractive?


Simple answer: yes.

But you’re probably thinking ‘wtf RG, we’re not ALL hot?!?!’ so let me explain.

1. At some time (either now, in the past or in the future), your look was/is/will be popular:

Hey guys – Got a bit of meat on your bones? 
In the Middle Ages and the Renaissance you would be deemed more attractive – your size showed your wealth and prosperity.

Girls – Got big shoulders? Untamable hair? A straight up and down shape?
Guys – Got skinny legs? Unruly hair?
The 80’s loved you.


Girls – Got a thin body but a prominent bum?
Guys – Got thin legs but a prominent gut? Double chin?
The 1700’s were all over that


Got an afro? Big ankles? One leg longer than the other?
Ladies and gentleman, put on those pants that are perfect for you (flares), shoes to even out your leg length (platforms) and get yourself to a disco!

2. Features which you think make you stand out for all the wrong reasons are normal and/or popular in some countries/cultures:

Girls – Petite? Straight hair? Small features?
Guys – Shorter? Struggle to grow facial hair?
Asia loves you

Girls – Big booty?
Ever heard of a little ol place called Brazil? Or Colombia? Jamaica?. Heck let’s just say all of South America, Central America, even North America and Africa are loving your buns. Damn girl, damn!


Plump? Obese even?
You’re going to be mighty popular in these 10 countries (some of them may surprise you!)

Girls – Boobs not so perky?
There’s tribes in Africa and South America that have your back. And front.

For more stunning and truly interesting photos of this tribe, head to the source of this photo http://eye4ethnic.blogspot.com.au/2012_11_01_archive.html?m=1 Consider it your intermission hehe 🙂

3. So basically you are either:
a) similar looking to others – you’re not alone in your looks so therefore are considered ‘normal’ (and is normal unattractive? No, its normal!) or
b) standing out from the crowd – believe me, standing out from the crowd can actually be a good thing!

Nowadays, not only is being different accepted, it’s encouraged. Looking different actually makes you interesting.

Got a gap in your teeth? A mole? Think your eyes are a little far apart? No hair? Androgynous? Albino African American?

People are legitimately making money from having those features.

All 6 examples here are high fashion models making PLENTY of money, and they get the jobs because they stand out from the crowd.


Jess Hart


Cindy Crawford


Gemma Ward


Alek Wek


Andrej Pejic


Shaun Ross

4. It’s all relative.

I went to school with this girl who one day told me her woes – she had small ears. Now up until that exact moment, I’d honestly never noticed them. I looked at her ears and realised she didn’t have a problem, it was me that was my problem – my ears were huge. I felt like Dumbo.

This sounds completely stupid of course, but there were only two of us there. So who has the unattractive ears? Well no one. To know who’s more ‘attractive’ I’d need to know if big ears or small ears were popular and I’d need to see a range of ears before deciding if our ears were actually big or small.

To a giraffe, a tall person is small. To an ant, a short person is a giant. To an elephant, an obese person is thin.

So who are we comparing ourselves to? Obviously not John Smith down the street, because he’s no match for Becks. So apparently ‘attractive’ people make the magazines where the ‘average’ and ‘ugly’ folk don’t. And just to make sure we feel like a sack of shit on comparison, attractive people are photo shopped, have loads of makeup on and covered in fancy clothes and jewellery.

But before you go thinking “yeah, fuck you celebrities and models!”, just remember they get criticised in other magazines when they look their natural self, go figure! Magazines, movies, the red carpet/award ceremonies and advertising are subconciously harboring unrealistic expectations of us.

Right here, right now, I can promise you one thing – if I ever end up famous, I won’t wear makeup, I won’t wear fake nails and I won’t wear clothes based on the label. I won’t be wearing some big glitzy gown down the red carpet and I won’t be wearing millions of dollars worth of jewellery. I’ll be the semi-natural one (sorry but I love dying my hair and having shaved legs – let’s not get too carried away!) who will probably appear in the ‘stars without makeup’ section of the gossip mags. But check me out not giving a shit.

Being yourself, comfortable and confident is absolutely attractive. And can they really tell me I’m ugly without makeup if they’ve never seen me WITH makeup? Ha! Totally messing with the system 😉

So getting back to ‘its all relative’ and comparisons I’ll say this; comparing yourself to others in an attempt to work out attractiveness is a waste of time. I can’t tell the difference between a hot dolphin and an ugly one, they’re both cute and I want to touch their noses 🙂

5. Apart from all that, everyone is attracted to different people for different reasons.

I love redheads (possibly due to #3b)
Apparently I’m also attracted to junkies (is it the wounded bird mentality?)
I love quirky people, blokey blokes, gentlemen, older men, younger men, girls with a beer in their hand, girls with a STEIN in the hand, lipstick wearing girls, people with unusual coloured hair, guys with beards, girls with big boobs, medium boobs, small boobs, tattooed people etc etc.

The fact of the matter is, we are all attracted to some people but not others. It’s way too hard to analyse. And I’ve only really scraped the surface based on looks – There’s also style, personality, idiosyncracies, age, gender, hobbies and more to add into it!

I’m terrible at maths but my calculations say there are going to be stacks of people who don’t find you attractive, but that doesn’t make you an unattractive person. Not by a long shot. You’re very attractive. I’m even going to go ahead and say you’re downright sexy. Someone out there is going to high 5 me in agreement and then maul the shit out of you.

And the next time someone doesn’t like the look of you for whatever reason, remember that somewhere, at some time, to someone, you’re the sexiest person alive.

Rambling Goat


Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

14 thoughts on “Are You Attractive?

  1. Great post. Doesn’t this go back to “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”? Interestingly the Hunter last night said that when he first met me, he wasn’t attracted to me. I wasn’t his “type”, but now he finds me beautiful. Did that bug me? No, not at all. I had the same experience when I started dating post-divorce. I dated men who weren’t my “type” and discovered their attractiveness later. We all just need to keep an open mind and not judge the book by its cover.

    • Exactly. I realised something yesterday – I’ve never gone for someone because they’re physically attractive. Not for dating, not for sex. I can recognise attributes in people that I find “attractive’, and appreciate them but I don’t do anything with this knowledge.

      I need to find the person interesting, intriguing, alluring, even mysterious to push for more. That’s my attraction. I don’t just think “he’s hot, I should fuck him”. So really, physical attractiveness to some (I won’t speak for all) isn’t all that important. It’s all the other bits.

      So I totally agree – people either become more or less attractive after you get to know them. Maggie you’re getting hotter by the minute! 😛

  2. I love the no make-up bit. I very rarely wear makeup….i reserve it for when I am going out on a special night and then it’s a “wow” factor for all who know me. If I wear makeup all the time then how do I get the wow factor for those special occasions? Probably odd logic but it works for me.

    As for attraction, I find the chemistry with another person totally over rules looks. The man I have loved the hardest is one my friends find the least attractive yet I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

    • Yep totally! I think pheromones make an appearance in there somewhere. A friend of my bfs brother has the strongest pheromones, he could have a sack over his head and not say a word and I’d sniff him out in a crowd and want to jump his bones. It’s crazy weird.

      So yes, there’s so many factors!

      Hehe I wore makeup at my school formals and still to this day believe I looked like a drag queen. Then I went to just mascara and lip gloss for a couple of weddings. Now im just hardcore natural. The last time I wore even basic mascara was 5+ years ago.

      We should do whatever makes us comfortable 🙂

  3. Ginger men and men with hair on chests and arms. I love them. All day.

  4. I’m off to Samoa.
    Kidding… but I liked this post and glad you wrote it. I’m also a bit glad I experienced what I did recently, because it highlighted so many things to me. Not the least of which is I deliberately look for attractiveness in people… I don’t write someone off because they might not immediately be “my type”. There are definitely people I’m more or less attracted to, but as Maggie says above, personality will trump any of that. And vice versa 🙂

  5. Very thoughtful research. Great post!😊

  6. As long as I am happy with myself, to hell with the rest of the world!!

  7. Some of us can see what the mirror holds to be true. I am content to accept that I lack any an aspect of attractiveness. I am entirely ok with this reality.

    • Then unfortunately I think you may have some self esteem issues Will because the point of this post was to show you that everything points to the fact that you are attractive. I thought I had a pretty compelling argument.

      To say you’re not attractive means there is not a single person in the world now, in the past or future that would/will find you attractive. That’s preposterous!

  8. Pingback: Becoming a Seductress 101 | Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

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