Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Robots are Jerks

4 Comments

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I’ve been struggling with technology for 3 days now. And before you go thinking I’m a senior cit who can’t turn her phone on, let it be known that I’m a bit nerdy (by association) so I don’t say this lightly.

Three of the four members in my family either are working with computers or have in the past. Guess who’s the technology runt ๐Ÿ˜‰ But thankfully, being surrounded by this has taught me quite a few things and benefited me somewhat.

Instead of indulging you with my proud nerdism momentsย (ok ok just one – emulators, ROMs and a bluetooth playstation controller for my tablet booyahh!), I’ll cut to the chase. Technology is a bitch.

I went from an innocent software update to a tablet stuck on the bootloop and a corrupted .docx file that needed saving. But instead of giving in I’ve persisted (with help) and thanks to Team Win (not making that up, it’s legit) and the introduction of TWRP to my intelligence-challenged brain (I started calling it ‘twerping’), I…. Got halfway through the whole process, spent a day of my life dedicated to problem solving technology and cracked out the beer. It’s sooo not my thing. I would prefer to ruin my day by standing on a dog shit barefoot to this nonsense.

So I’ll finish it tomorrow. I was kindly given a recipe for banana pancakes to make for breakfast so that it didn’t feel like groundhog day. I’m trying to get excited that its almost over and/or I actually achieved progress today but I’m too busy wondering how people sit in an office all day.. It got up to 30c and after peeling myself off the desk chair I’m now freaked out that I have butt pimples. So. Hot. Right. Now. (Literally! My dad thinks there’s rats living in the air con so I’m down to fans!)

At this point I’d like to add that computers aren’t the only technology that messes with me;
*On more than one occasion I’ve had to cook 2 min noodles for 3 mins because they aren’t cooked at 2 minutes. False advertising!
*The stove here only has 2 settings – burning and off. Charred flavour has actually helped out a few of my dishes (but ruined plenty).
*My TV sometimes just turns off. Or refuses to turn on until I physically get up and press the button off and on. If I wanted a wii, I’d go get one, clearly I want to veg out.
*When you use a powerboard you just assume all the sockets work. Turns out like every powerboard I use has a dodgy one and stupidly I never mark which one sucks. So it’s a constant Russian Roulette. Need to charge that phone for an alarm in the morning? No worries, I’ll just pretend I’m charging then stop and cause you problems tomorrow!

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Based on my (and im assuming your) misfortunes with technology, I’m putting it out there – as soon as robots come into play, we’re screwed. I already think shit is messing with me to test my patience, but if this thing is considered ‘intelligent’ then it’s going to be a downright jerk.

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Think about it, they don’t need us. We’re just getting in the way. And testing out patience I’m sure is much more entertaining than bringing us drinks..

And then theres the option of violence! One smack and we’re down. Let’s just hope their charging capabilities are as hopeless as my powerboards ๐Ÿ˜‰

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So I’m sorry if I’ve been a little absent, my posts are a bit blunt and/or don’t have pics. I’m using my phone, am legit sitting here cross-eyed and am showing an unusually high paranoia for robots. To be fair, I just worked 16 days in a row and this was how I spent my 17th day, so really I think I’m going pretty good ๐Ÿ˜€

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On the technology plus side (and to remind myself to be grateful), uhh…. I’m happy that the xbox exists? And music, TV, phones, the internet and wordpress ๐Ÿ™‚ Yep there’s a bunch of stuff that works properly.

Now I just need to invest in a non-evil, non-malfunctioning, fully recharged robot masseuse to really make life better.. What could go wrong? o.O

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RamblingGoat

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Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

4 thoughts on “Robots are Jerks

  1. I just want to say, I love Bender.

    I just rewatched seasons 1 to 5 of Futurama, you have no idea how much I love Bender!

    • Me too, there will be a tattoo of him (and other awesome cartoon characters) on me when I get some money from this house selling ๐Ÿ™‚
      Have you watched adventure time? The guy who voices Bender also voices Jake ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. As a former PC Tech I say with certainty that when it works, technology is wonderful. When it doesn’t work, I always have a 2lb sledge hammer handy to initiate a permanent fix.

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