I can’t be bothered with a long winded post about the fruitfulness of life right now (mainly because its 1:30am), so here’s a quick rundown;
I’ve pissed on my leg twice this week, a cockroach just pranced across my tablet, fell on my bed and now I am unaware of its whereabouts and last night I had a bit of a playtime dilemma. All three of these are related because I’m basically camping in my house due to renovations.
So yeah, the only bathroom is in the other wing of the house (where my parents live) and hey RG, let’s get some toys dirty and THEN try and figure out how to clean them.. While in an orgasmic bliss state.
If it was just one toy I probably could have hid it in my pants/shirt and walked past my dad watching TV with no drama. Awkward but bearable. But there were 4 toys (TMI?).
In conclusion, I need to stop drinking beer before bed (it’s really hard to pee on the ground in the middle of the night) and if anyone is wondering why there’s a non-resealable toy cleaner now living in my bedroom pot plant and why I woke up with no PJ pants that next morning, I don’t want to talk about it.
Ps. Baby wipes are going on the shopping list! As are cockroach baits!
Pps. While pissing outside, my dog stood in the lit doorway staring at me. Role reversal! And now if I ever glance at them while pissing/crapping, I’ll be sure to look away immediately because that felt reeeeally awkward. See? I learnt something from this! 🙂