I’m Even Steven.
Tonight I had an epic ‘made with love’ style hamburger from oddly, an Indian restaurant. I don’t eat much takeaway food (maybe once every 3 months) so this was a delicious treat. I was full and happy, casually walked into a different room and boom, a cockroach flew into my lip. Then it sat on the floor in front of me. Bliss – over.
But you know what, life is all about balance. The good with the bad. I have a phobia of toes, but a love of necks (kissing, biting etc. If anyone did this to my toes I’d vomit!).
I decided today to try and turn some Lamebos into Rainbows. I’ve read 4 posts (in a week!) mentioning the ‘dark clouds coming overhead’ as you come into winter. So I hope any of you out there experiencing seasonal (or regular) depression can recognise the symptoms and try to insert some more positivity into your life. Find the sunshine! Let me attempt to help 🙂
You can’t have a perfect life, it doesn’t exist. That sounds incredibly morbid but its a good thing, promise. In fact, the whole reason the universe exists is thanks to an imperfection (sorry, RG the space nerd just made an appearance). Imperfections make life interesting. There will always be ups and downs, likes and dislikes but because of the bad times, we appreciate the good times. Not so morbid now huh? 😛
If you don’t feel like you have a balanced life, and are thinking ‘yeah but I don’t have much good stuff, its all bad!’ then realise YOU have the ability to balance it out. Its all in the mind.
You might think I’m this beaming ray of (awkward) sunlight that doesn’t know a bad thing if it hit her in the face. Well I’ve had depression (to the point of only leaving my bed to get food and occasionally to visit the doctor), been a cutter, had an abortion (the father was my drug dealer flatmate), been molested (by another kid), been in the car when my dad drove over a dog, wrote off my first car that I saved up the cash for because I was drink driving, didn’t make it into a uni course I wanted because I was taking too many drugs. Also growing up I compared myself to my intelligent brother (he’s doing a PhD at the moment) and felt like the runt of the family.
But I’m totally 100% happy and optimistic now. To me, all that shit is old news, I’ve moved on to greener pastures. And to talk/think about it feels like it’s another persons life. Its hidden at the back of the mind because I’ve crammed all this awesome stuff (experiences/memories/appreciation/positivity) in front of it. But I’m mentioning it all to help you guys 🙂 I’ve had dark moments, now I’m making things into light moments. That’s my balance.
Here’s my tips to feeling awesome and balancing your life up:
1. Accept that shitty stuff happens, its unavoidable.
2. Everyone -and I mean EVERYONE – has something going on now and/or has something in the past that has impacted them negatively. DV said to me a couple of days ago “ugh I’ve had the shittest weekend” and we regaled our shitty weekends to each other. Meanwhile, I was talking to Sharn about her woes. So don’t assume you’ve got a shitty life and everyone has perfect lives, we’re all experiencing shit together!
3. Know that there’s always going to be someone who will understand your woes. Trip over a black dog and land on a sombrero? $10 says that its happened before. I’d bet more but I’d feel bad taking your money 😉
4. Don’t just focus on the negatives of a shitty situation, try and find the positives. Ok a cockroach flew in my mouth but it was a reminder to go clean my teeth. And also funny. Which leads me onto:
5. Stop thinking “poor me!”. Laugh at yourself. Sometimes shitty stuff is so ridiculous you have to laugh. Ok, sometimes its not funny and not everything in life is funny, but in those instances, don’t stop the laughter elsewhere in your life. Its not fair on yourself. There is funny stuff happening all around you, let yourself see it.
6. Find logical solutions to what is troubling you.
Depressed? Force yourself outside, force yourself to chat with friends, read self help books. For myself, I started reading more Buddhism books, changed my way of thinking, started talking to friends more, started dating this new guy and applied for a job (surprisingly I got it!).
Bad memories? Create good ones. You’ve only got so much brain space, and if you’re anything like me (extremely forgetful), this will be easy. Yes, scarring memories don’t completely fade but they will be blurry images rather than HD. So go do some fun/crazy things like cage dive with sharks, or skydive, or ride an elephant. Life is what you make it, so make it full of fun happy things! 😀
Been dumped? Ok so obviously that person isn’t a good match for you. No big deal, there’s plenty of people out there who would be honoured to have you. And in the meantime, you’ve got friends, family and a rambling goat (hello there!) to pat you on the back, make you laugh and remind you that being single isn’t the end of the world 🙂
I can find a positive in just about everything and I find a lot of people focus on the negative but completely disregard the positive.
So here’s some examples of how I would turn negatives into positives:
*A family member passed away – they had a good life, they know I loved them, I’m glad I got to spend x amount of time with them and share my life with them and if they happened to pass away from illness then they’re not suffering anymore.
I also optimistically believe in reincarnation which helps. It settles questions in my own mind like ‘why does my dog swim like a dolphin? I thought they doggy paddled?!’ Haha 🙂 Some of you may believe in Heaven/whatever else so use that to help you get through a tough time.
*A pet has died – ok I was talking about this to someone the other day and although I have thousands of photos of my dog and lots of great memories I also want to get her stuffed. Yeeeep taxidermy style. I know its just an empty shell but its a small furry cute shell.. Also I’ve been watching Oddities (a show about freaky antiques) so its seeming less and less crazy 😛 So appreciate the time you had together and if you’re insane like me, get your pet stuffed! Or get a tattoo 😀
*Work is stressful – well now you’re extra appreciative of a day off. Or that help you got from a coworker, or the existence of alcohol. Maybe this is the push you needed to look for another job. Or maybe you have stress during a task but when its finished and you can relaaaaax (Not so dissimilar to school assignments/exams..)
Look if you think about it, things could be worse. And if you think its at the absolute worst then it can only get better 🙂
Here is today’s (and possibly the only ever) challenge! I want you to think of 3 awesomely rad things/people/memories in your life. Do it!
I have a whole lot more than 3, but here’s the first 3 that I thought of:
Beer (its been a pretty exhausting day.. Need. One. Now!)
Cheese (don’t get me started! Mmmmmmmmmmmm)
My dogs (I’ve got 2 dogs. The one I want stuffed is the older, loving, super dependant one)
What are your 3 positives?
Oh and next time you experience negative thoughts, balance it out and find the positive/s. If you can’t, here’s your ‘go to’ solution: you’re still alive. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Xo