Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

I don’t do first dates


Was just laughing about this with NU so thought I’d share it πŸ™‚

I’ve only had one ‘first date’ that I can remember. It seems I normally meet people through friends, in an environment where others are present, then go staight to the hanging out at their house and having sex part. By the time we actually go to dinner, I already know the person quite well so it doesn’t feel like a proper first date.

This could be due to the people I’m attracted to (junkies if you recall), although with some interest going towards older men now, this could change!

Anyway my first date was a blind date. A mutual friend matched us up with the classic “you two would be so cute together!”. I was apprehensive, and within good reason. I was living with a drug dealer (in his early 20s), she was a friend of his (under 18) and this guy was a friend of hers. No its cool, I’m sure this guy is a catch! Not that I could talk. For the record this was like 9 years ago and I like to think I’m a nice catch now πŸ™‚

I can’t even remember the guys name which says a lot. I don’t remember much which also says a lot. But basically I waited out the front, the guy picked me up and we just drove around in his car. There was a few moments where he said “so what do you want to do?” and I responded with “I dunno, what do you want to do?” Classic teens hahahah. Well apparently he couldn’t think of anything (and I was trying to be ‘cool’ with doing whatever he wanted to do) because he then went to his friends house, parked and his friend came out the front and stood there chatting to us. The friend lived with his parents so didn’t let us in. Yep, good on you mate, that’s actually good in this instance.

The guy eventually asked how we knew each other to which we replied this was our first time meeting. The response “oh first date, cute!” Not really, we’re spending it standing outside your house..

But I was totally friendly, chatty and laughing the whole time anyway. Yeah it was a shit excuse for entertainment but I like meeting new people so I was making the best of a bad situation.

After leaving the friends curb, we continued on driving around for a while. No, he wasn’t one of those types that has a hotted up car and likes to drive it through town to get attention. Its was a rundown piece of junk. No judgements, all my cars have had ‘character’ but I mention it for the fact that this was not the reason he was driving me around. He simply hadn’t planned anything and had no ideas for things to do. He didn’t even park so we could sit and chat. I chatted to the side of his face all night. Was he socially inept?!


At least I would have eaten with this guy!

There was no attempt to grope me, kiss me, ask me to give him a bj while he was driving, although he seemed the type (did I really want to anyway?!?! Nope.). We just chatted. He seemed pretty deep in thought but that’s hard to tell when someone isn’t facing you and is busy driving.

After a while he said “it’s getting late” and the guy just dropped me off back to my place again. We never spoke again. I thought he was a bore (I might have thought differently if we had a proper chance to talk!) and not worth the effort and for his own reasons, he didn’t like me either. Terrible match.

I can’t even be bothered analysing it, it was ridiculous. 9 years later, I’m now the type of person that offers suggestions for things to do and is far more into organising a fun night than ‘going with the flow’ with a guy who thinks driving around in his car is a sufficient first date.

As usual though, another random awkward adventure to add to the list. And I think I’m scarred because I’ve never been on a blind date or ‘first date’ since hahaha!

So to turn it into a rainbow – awful dates are hilarious. It might suck at the time but you can tell your friends later, laugh and if you’re anything like me, it’s years later I’m still laughing at the wtf of this ‘date’. Don’t expect perfection and see the amusing side to it all! Oh and don’t blame yourself for your date not liking you – I’m sure he found a lovely girl eventually that either liked driving around, was into planning the date for him or had something I didn’t, we’re all different!

And if you’re anything like me and skip the dates and go straight to their house to hang out and have sexy times then who cares? Society rules are stupid. I do what I want, not what other people want. Like NU said in the last post – starting a relationship from sex is totally possible. The problem lies with those that judge you for it and that’s their own problem, not ours πŸ˜‰

Rambling Goat


Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

4 thoughts on “I don’t do first dates

  1. Haha he could have atleast taken you to McDonalds! What a weirdo, but like you said a hilarious story!

    As they say, when people judge you it is not a reflection of you but of themselves!

    • If I was super deformed or missing teeth or something I’d probably have a better idea of why he didn’t want to just park his car, chat and maybe even fool around (still not a good date but it would have been mildly better..). So I’ve truly got no idea :/ random!

  2. lmao..this is too cute. So “teenagery” We’re all awkward at dating around that age. This is too funny though. At least you know better now right?!? πŸ˜€

    • The only thing I know better is that someone needs to plan something! Anything!

      DD took me to a sushi train place for dinner and although we’d already slept together and were friends, it did feel like I was a teenager on a date still. I was so excited at the whole train premise and all the different types of sushi πŸ˜€

      He also took me to a meat wholesaler because he had to stock up on meat, and the whole place is like a fridge. They had these big furry jackets at the entry that you wear while you’re in there, I was so excited and grinning and dancing in my big flopsy furry jacket πŸ˜€

      It really doesn’t take much to amuse/excite me! I don’t need a dinner in a fancy restaurant, I just want to spend time with and do stuff with people. So its not like I’m picky or pretentious. But that guy driving around, sheesh! Not enjoyable at all.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s