Most of my relationships have started with sex. What was meant to be a one night stand always turned into two nights, three nights, and then a legit relationship.
I think I’m a pretty straight forward kinda person, I’ve never been one to play games when it comes to dating (and that’s probably because I’ve never actually “dated” before). There’s all these rules that people put on dating – don’t wear this, don’t say that, wait three dates before you make a meat sandwich together, and to be frank I think it’s all a crock of crap.
When it comes to men (and women) and dating, people should be free to just be themselves and do whatever feels right for them at the time. If following these lame dating rules makes you feel good and yourself, then sure go ahead and follow them. But you shouldn’t do it because it’s expected of you or what you’re told to do.
So, as I’m living proof that good relationships can come out of unconventional beginnings, here is my dating advice!
Wear whatever you damn want
Two relationships I’ve had stemmed from costume parties. One I was painted up like a dalmatian and spent the night running round like an idiot. Nek minnit I’m boning some guy in a bedroom and BOOM weeks later we’re legit. The other one I was dressed as Frank N Furter (okay maybe the corset did the trick), and that too turned into something more.
I don’t wear heels cos they hurt my feet and I don’t give a shit about having to “look hot” or impress people at the peril of my own comfort. Stuff that. When I was younger I used to, but I got over that quick smart. When I met the boy, I came straight from work wearing thongs and a simple dress and then BOOM we’re churning butter.
Wear what you would normally wear. Why go all out to try and be different – so you can bag a man and then be all “BOOM, SUCKER! Tricked you, I actually live in trackies all day.” If you’re comfortable, that exudes through your essence and in turn is attractive.
If a guy is going to judge you, then maybe he’s not the right guy for you! Unless you wanna be with some superficial jerk…
Be your retarded self
If you’re too scared to be yourself with someone when you meet, what do you think will happen if it does go further?
Don’t play games, be silly, be funny, and if they’re the right person they’ll love it! If they think you’re a weirdo then punch em in the spleen and move on.
If sex feels right, then do it
If you’re horny and both consensually wanna roast the broomstick, then do it. Why deprive yourself of what you want because of some rules people wanna place on you?
You shouldn’t do it for any other reason other than you really want to, and that’s okay.
If he’s gonna judge you for it, then he can fuck off because there are guys out there that will find your confidence in taking life (and his peen) by the horns!
Be strong and tell them what they want
“I don’t want to scare him away”
“Does he like me?”
“Did I do this wrong?”
“Maybe I should wait…”
Why are so many of us putting so much of our self worth into waiting for a guy to declare their want for us? I learnt this lesson the hard way, which you can read here if you could be bothered. I read a lot of blogs on here about relationships and love and blah, and this is a reoccurring pattern that annoys me.
Be empowered and tell them what you want. Because YOU. ARE. WORTH. IT.
I bagged the Boy after our one night stand and a month of fucking around by having balls and telling him what I wanted. Yep, it was freakin scary and I knew it could go either way, but after 3 years of pain because I was waiting for a fucking man to tell me I’m worth love and worth wanting, I wasn’t prepared to be that pathetic again.
The boy had been going through hard times, he was on the bed and cried that he didn’t know if he was ready for a relationship.
My response: that’s totally cool if you don’t want a relationship, but if that’s the case then we can continue to be friends but that means no more sleepovers because I don’t want that.
I think he was a tad shocked that OMG a woman actually said what she wanted, he told me that we values me and cares for me too much that even though he’s scared to love again, I am worth the risk and he wants me to be his girlfriend.
So if you’re killing yourself wondering about what he wants, continue to give him concessions and excuses, use your lady balls and just be honest.
Scared he will run away? Then let him run, because you are worth it. Stop letting flippant men think you are anything else.
I think this is a pretty key part of turning sex into a relationship too – you’ve already offered up your meat sandwich, if you don’t actually speak up then you could be leaving the guy to think the sex is all you want too.
And that’s all I could be bothered to write. I hope this helps someone out there!