Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Rejected by a Hobo


Sometimes I feel a small twinge in my
Gut where, after realising it’s not gas, I get the feeling of being slightly compassionate to a stranger.

So it goes, this morning I was in the city for an appointment and walked past a disheveled hobo with a dog as I
approached the stop sign to cross the road. Waiting there, I turned back to look at the hobo and felt kinda bad for him and his dog.

I never give money to hobos cos I’m an assuming bitch and don’t want my money spent on crack and grog. But I will sometimes give food or buy them a coffee when the mood ticks.

Today the only offering I had was a piece of delicious banana cake I made earlier this week (which is totes the best bananana cake I’ve made EVOR), so I walked back to hobo and said, “I don’t have any cash on me, but you can have my bananana cake?”

Hobo looks at me in disgust and slurs NUH.

I was taken aback! “I-oh….. Sorry then…” And I walked on my way.

Who the fuck gets rejected by a hobo?


What happened to beggars can’t be choosers?

What, would it have been better if I mentioned the icing is made of Crack?

By banana I meant vodka?

Screw you you stinky ingrate for throwing my charitable gut gas back in my face!

And THAT my friend is when some people unfortunately perpetuate bad stereotypes about groups of people.

nonsense unicorn


Author: nonsenseunicorn

Just another twenty-something year old making sense out of madness. Boom.

6 thoughts on “Rejected by a Hobo

  1. Stinky ingrate?
    Crack icing?

  2. Holy molely! I don’t know which made me laugh more, the rejection or how you dealt with it!

    Like you, I never give money. I have purchased entire meals, coffee cards with $10 on them, punch cards for free meals, etc. For a decade I worked in a major metro downtown area and saw the same panhandler in the same 4 block radius everyday. One day when I had a late meeting with board members I left the building long after rush hour had faded. I found myself walking to the parking garage and looked to see the familiar man walking about 20 meters ahead. He entered the same garage as I was parked in. He pushed the lift call button and waited. I entered a moment later and didn’t say a word. We took the lift down to the same level. I figured that he must have a nice warm and dry sleeping spot down there. We both stepped out and imwalked towards my car. I looked over my shoulder to see him heading toward an alcove that appeared to be semi-concealed. I unlocked my car, opened the door and let my eyes follow this poor man. A moment later, the familiar honk of the late model BMW 835 sounded as he reached for the door, opened it and climbed in. He started the car and proceeded to exit the subterranean parking area as I stood there jaw agape.

    • There was a story in the paper a couple of years back about a ‘homeless’ man that was earning around $45,000 (Australian) tax free from sitting on the street. He had a house and a family. Its unfortunate that people can pretend to be desperate in order to scam people. We’re better off giving money to a charity (like a homeless shelter).

      I think NU must have had a scammer too. Or a gluten intolerant homeless guy. Or maybe he had a banana allergy? Or was on a diet.. I’m going with scammer 😉

    • Thats just ridiculous! Damn people who rort the system!

      Heck maybe i should stop working fulltime and be a hobo its much more lucrative!

  3. Pingback: Lava – a natural way to dispose of rubbish | Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

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