Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Penis Size Myths


Penis size is constantly being discussed. I’m not sure why, I honestly couldn’t care less what your size is. Actually, sorry no there’s an exception – if you’re huge, sorry but it’s not happening. I know my approximate limit and I’m not keen to go past that.

So there, guys are always worried if they’re too small, well I’m more worried if you’re too big. I’ve been with plenty of small guys. One I dated (Peter Pan in my ex post), was the only guy who has managed to fuck me and play with my clit at the same time (and wait till I came before he did). He was a genius with his hands. And it wasn’t a one off thing – he did it *every single time*. That kind of workout breeds laziness in women but it was goooood.

Two previous fwbs also had small weenies, but once again – they were great in bed. The only problem I had was that not all positions work (no up-against-the-wall sex 😦 ) but hey, it looks like they knew which ones did and they were fine!

So guys with small ones, don’t fear, I (and many other women) don’t have a problem. At least worst case scenario you can try out sleeves for a bit of added extra, but huge men can’t shrink their dick. It’s a straight up denial to them from my end, sorry! Seems they have a niche market.

So I guess some women want to know what size you are when you’re dressed, and to me its more of the mystery of the unknown than actually caring what the size is. Kind of like guys wanting to know what our tits look like. Or what our vagina tastes like 😉


There are even these silly myths to accompany that, but in my opinion most of them are wrong. For the men reading this, feel free to tell me if some are actually true, but I’m a little sceptical from my own encounters.

*A tall man has a huge dick – false. One of the fwbs I mentioned earlier was tall, and he had a small one.
*A man with small feet has a small dick – false. I had sex with a guy with the same size shoes as me (I have average size for a woman), and he didn’t have a small one!
*A man with small hands has a small dick – false. Another ex Mr Married has small hands for a guy (just a tiny bit bigger than mine) and he didn’t have a small one. Same as my ex The Hulk. Or do I just have big hands?! *stares at hands* well I do have long fingers.. 😀
*Ok this next one I’m not sure of. If you fold your fingers down to your palm, take note of where your middle finger ends. Then open your hand back up. From that marked spot to the end of your middle finger is apparently your dick size. Seeing as how small hands are false I’m not a big believer in this but feel free to try it out guys and let me know.
*Thin guys have thin dicks and wider guys have a wider girth – hmmm. You know what, I don’t actually know. The Hulk has gained about 25kg since I first met him but I don’t think his dick size changed?! Feel free to report back on this one girls and guys!

I guess I might be called a party pooper for breaking some of these myths but ladies, instead of sipping cocktails and playing these ‘guess your dick size’ games in a group of giggling friends, play the ‘who can bed the first guy’ game. Its much more fun 😀

Rambling Goat

Ps. Is there any vagina/tit myths?!

Footnote: I’ve just realised something that small dick men can do that average+ can’t – go in my bum bum. Yep anal is a no-go unless you have a smaller one. I’ve been scarred (probably literally) by average and above who think you can jump from finger to dick in 30 seconds. So boys, what you may think is bad luck has actually turned into good luck 🙂


Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

9 thoughts on “Penis Size Myths

  1. I wanna say if you gain weight it can SLIGHTLY change girth. Not a whole inch, unless you become the size of a baby whale.

  2. Oh! My favorite tit guessing game is nipples and areola size!

  3. You’ve completely inspired me. I’m going to have to write something and reference back to this amazeball post of yours. Hope you don’t mind.

    I don’t think girth is proportionate with body size AT ALL. I’ve dated chubbers before with skinny dicks and thin mints w/thick cocks…so that’s a myth as well I’d say 😀

  4. I thought that weight gain makes it shorter. I thought that was science and everything.

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