Look, people need to get over this daunting thing called age/getting older/growing up.
People feel pressure to do *x* by age *y* and its ridiculous. Yes, time exists. Do I care? Not really. And I’ll tell you why;
1. Based on our life expectancy, I’m going to go ahead and say that your 20’s are the new teens, 30’s are the new 20’s and 40’s are the new 30’s. You’ve just gained another 10 years so people need to *stop freaking out*. And actually thats a 10 year MINIMUM because I read recently that Gen Y’s are going to live on average to 120! Faaarrrrkkk! 93 years left to roam the earth! So we’re all gaining 10-40 years on current life expectancies (80’s). Mind. Blown.
3. There will always be people compatible for partnership. ‘Theres no one left’ is fucking bullshit. Scuse the french. Oh boo hoo, guys want younger women. Well guess what ladies, you’re a ‘younger woman’ to someone. Don’t give me that ‘but old men have brill cream in their hair’ look. There’s some mighty fine mature men around. Or get in touch with your inner cougar. Or be so awesome and enthralling that men your age wont be able to say no to you.
Men, don’t just dismiss women in your age range, you’ve got a nasty reputation for doing that. My 82 year old nan used to use RSVP and I asked her how it was going. “Oh good but all these men want younger women.. This guy is in his 90’s but it says here he’s only interested in women in their 70’s! When you’re my age it’s all the bloody same!” For the record she did chat to a few fellas and said “they’re only interested in sex!! They blatantly ask for it!”. Woah, it seems men’s libido (and brash pickup techniques) never dies.
Anyway, getting sidetracked.. My point is even at 82 you can go on rsvp to meet new people. So when you consider the young, the older, the unlucky in love, the divorced, the widowed and the polyamorous (gotta love the polys!), there’s plenty of ‘fresh meat’ out there. As soon as you freak out and act desperate, that sexy flock of birds has scattered and left a couple of shits on you. Sorry its almost 1am, my analogies are terrible hahaha.
4. Girls, you can still have kids in your 40’s. If you’ve got money, there’s IVF too. And if you’re a real lover of all children, go for adoption or foster care. Or you can freeze your eggs earlier on and use a surrogate later in life when you’re ready. Or just have kids before you have a partner. There’s plenty of options.
If you’re not into kids, cool, don’t bother. I hear in america there’s pet monkeys and as a comedian said recently “if you’ve got to the point of having a monkey, why not just have a kid? Its basically the same.” Well, its a good point but pets are pretty rad. So why not get a pet monkey? Or dog. Or cat. Or 30 cats. And yeah I can make the ‘crazy cat lady’ joke cos my aunty legit owned 20+ cats (probably still does). The house stunk. But she loved rescuing them so good for her.
5. You can still do whatever you want at whatever age. The other day I had a double chip sandwich (crisps and fries, with some tomato sauce) and it was miiiiiighty tasty. Don’t stick with stereotypes of how we ‘should act our age’. I do what a waaant.
Ok here’s my conclusion.
Age is just a stupid number that tells us how many times the world has gone around the sun while we’ve been here. Who the fuck cares? I personally think my interests and experiences are more important.