Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Why is everyone obsessed with having a partner?

17 Comments

I don’t get it.

There’s nothing wrong with being single. It doesn’t mean *you’re* not good enough for someone else – it’s your life you’re living, not theirs. What it really means is some people have found someone they want to hang around all the time, and either you haven’t yet, or you don’t feel the need to right now. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

We’re strange creatures us humans. Yes, being in love feels nice but being on your own isn’t the end of the world. In fact I’m starting to think the opposite. I love being single. I’m trying to keep single for as long as I can and even when I do end up getting a partner, I still want to feel somewhat single – I want an open/poly relationship. I like the freedom of singleness. I’ve got a taste for it and I refuse to give it up πŸ˜›

Relationships are generally like having a little bubble around the two of you. It’s a nice safe little bubble. But you turn from two ‘individuals’ to ‘us’, and this is the part I get stuck on. We shouldn’t lose our individuality and independence that we had while single.

I’ve done it before and in my longest relationship I became so dependant that I once rang my partner in tears because I couldn’t open a salsa jar. My dinner was now ‘ruined’ and I was going to ‘starve to death’. Hahaha it was pathetic.

Being single means I fend for myself, yes sometimes I can’t open jars (I actually have a marmalade jar in my fridge that’s waiting for the next visitor to help me with HAHA) but I’m not completely dependent on someone. And I really enjoy it.

When we’re single we get this lovely opportunity to find ourselves, love ourselves, see the world through our own eyes, make our own decisions and fend for ourselves.

My nan is 82 and she lives on her own. Yes she admits she makes boring dinners because she only needs to feed herself but dammit if she can do it being that age then so can we! I should ask her how she opens her jars..

Oh, and its not new that she’s on her own. She got divorced when my dad was a kid. He’s now 60. She’s had ‘boyfriends’ here and there but she’s realised she doesn’t need a partner to survive. I actually think it’s kept her young at heart – she sent me a photo the other day of her racing bikes with my little cousin!

There’s always ads on TV from eharmony or RSVP and I despise them. Yes it’s a good way to meet people but they subconsciously convince people that having a partner is the best and that therefore being single means you’re a loser. What those ads *don’t* show is couples fighting and single people skipping through a flowery meadow.
image

So there we go. There’s my ad for singledom.

Do what makes you happy.
Live the life you want to live.
And if that means going against societies’ ideals of being married with kids at 35 with a white picket fence out front, well good. If we didn’t push the boundaries of ‘normal’, we’d all be drones.

Your happiness is number one, it’s not about finding a partner to make your mum happy or finding a partner because your siblings are all married. You’ll find someone IF and when you want.

Sidenote: I’d like to give a big thank you to anyone who’s ever stood up for something and received ridicule for it – it’s helped break the barriers for the rest of us. I’m a pants-wearing, girl-loving (well boys too..), poly-appreciating, non judgemental, kinky, tattoo-loving, anti-marriage, pro-adoption, pro-abortion, pro-prostitution, redhead (albeit not natural), Buddhist, tomboy who right now loves being single and independent. Fuck normal. I do what makes me happy, we all should! We’re living in a good era where pretty much anything goes, and its only going to get better from here!

Rambling Goat

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Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

17 thoughts on “Why is everyone obsessed with having a partner?

  1. Many excellent, entertaining points. I think if a lot more people followed your advice they’d be happier, in relationships or not. And I hate those commercials too. πŸ˜‰

    • Aww thanks johnny. Easier said than done for a lot but hey, I can only try πŸ˜‰ If that means sharing too much info about my life to make others realise you can be different/strange/awkward/’abnormal’ and be insanely happy, then so be it πŸ˜€

  2. Here here!

    Sometimes it takes people a while to figure that out, hopefully not too late, but at least some of us are figuring it out eventually…

    • Apparently ‘we learn from our mistakes’, but I don’t think I do haha mainly cos I can’t fathom that *anything* was a mistake.

      I like to think of it more as learning what we want in life. You don’t know exactly what you want/need/like/enjoy/dislike from the get go, but time and experiences sort that out. I don’t like saying no very often and I get myself into some random adventures, but if I never did that, I wouldn’t know half the shit that I now love.

      And as long as you understand that you are in charge of this life (not a pawn in the game of life – although with some of the shit that happens to me on a daily basis, its hard to believe sometimes..), and be the person you want to be, everything else falls in to place.

      • I like that, learning what we want in life is preferable to learning from mistakes.

        What I usually say isn’t so much to focus on mistakes but to not regret. It’s the regret part of the learning-reflecting that I find unnecessary.

        I’ve certainly made outright mistakes though, plenty of times.

        • Surely *at the time* you didn’t think it was a mistake, otherwise you wouldn’t have done it! And in hindsight it was a bad decision but you needed to do it in order to *know* it was a bad decision. So therefore it was a good thing, because you did it and learnt that maybe next time you won’t do it that way. Unless of course you knew it wasn’t going to end well but still did it anyway..

          Anyway it’s all just words really. I don’t like ‘mistake’ because it means if I could be in that situation again I’d do it differently. I wouldn’t. That’s how it was meant to happen, like it or lump it. I just find a positive in it and move on. And if the situation happens again, well I can determine my reaction based on the results of the last time πŸ™‚

  3. Totes agree that people shouldn’t be fixating on what society seems to be “normal” in regards to relationships, and that people need to be building the relationship they have with themselves. Relationships should be a bonus, not the be all or end all.

    However, as with Everything in life there needs to be a balance between all alternatives, because really that’s what being in a relationship or being single is – and alternative. Neither is better, worse, right or wrong, they’re just different and that’s cool!

    Just because I “believe” in and truly feel monogamous doesn’t mean I’m gonna say all poly peeps are lunatics or deluded – nope, I say to each their own! An that’s what makes this life awesome, the fact that there are so many of us that are different and float on many different boats.

    Following my rambles, however, one must strive to not err too close to either end of the extreme – don’t wanna be a dependent relationship junkie, but also don’t want to be too extreme “I do what I want” single because if you put your Clydesdale blinkers on to others you could inherently miss out on an awesome partner in crime.

    Now, my face is full of infected goo and is hurting my brain so I’m going to stop typin cos I don’t even know what I’m writing about anymore. But I suppose I say this as I know how you feel about relationships an stuff which is totally cool, but I guess all I have to say is I am happy in my monogamous existence and think that’s ok! Saying that, I think I’m independent enough to be alone if I had to be to. Why? Cos I’m freakin awesome and know there’s always a party in my head! Boom!

    • Haha yep! Do what makes you happy!
      I won’t be single forever but like you said, its good to be happy either way πŸ™‚ I guess some relationships won’t last forever either so when we’re in them, we should truly appreciate it, just like I’m appreciating my singleness πŸ˜€

      Its sad to see people so desperate for a relationship and also sad when a couple breaks up and the two individuals don’t know how to be on their own again. As long as you’re happy with yourself then its not worth worrying/obsessing over, good things will come πŸ™‚

      And even though you’re full of infected goo, you’re still awesome and yep indeedy you can totally rock singledom and girfy status! I’ve seen you in both and you’re happy either way – that’s the key πŸ˜€

      Why am I always single when you have a partner and have a partner when you’re single?! Haha we’re Even Steven.

      • Yeah it’s really sad, and that’s where people lose themselves and end up Emo.

        I even think sometimes the people who obsess with being in a relationship usually end up ruining them anyway through their desperation, or jumping into a relationships just because they have someone regardless of how they truly feel.

        You’re right, find the rainbow within yourself and that rainbow will spread to all parts of your life!

        Haha I think Hoecember was probably the last time we were singleish? SINGLEISH hahaha

        • Hahahahaha yep well we made it worth our while! Exceeeeept for the clamydia. My bad. But on the plus side, its now ticked off the sucket list πŸ™‚ and I was totally single! Its not my fault the hulk assumed we were exclusive! And that’s just another way he knew from the get go that I was a loose cannon LOL

  4. I had a discussion with someone that everyone should just end relationships at 6 months, because around that time is when the passion dies anyway.

    • I increased my last relationship’s passion by going poly πŸ˜‰ turns out dating two people didn’t decrease the love and passion by half, it actually increased them :O

      • And they were okay with that? I can’t even find one to be consistent. I can’t imagine two.

        • Yep πŸ™‚ I’d been slowly getting close with this girl while dating a guy for 2-3 years and realised I liked her. I told him in all honesty and he said he didn’t want to hold me back from exploring that so I did. It wasn’t that he was looking for a threesome, in fact they didn’t really like each other much.

          It was all going fine, I lived with the guy but would talk to the girl most days and see her on weekends. I think he enjoyed having some time with his friends while I was busy with her. I eventually took a job opportunity that has so far kept me away for 1.5 years and she’s moved on to a new partner. He wants to get back together when I move back in 6 months and is happy for us to be half poly again (girls only) but I’m struggling with that idea because I’d like to at least have a male fwb on the side too. One man is not enough with or without a girlfriend on the side πŸ˜› haha I sound like some rabid sexual beast but I just don’t like to get bored – I have enough love and energy to share around πŸ™‚

          Apparently everyone’s a bit poly according to this article! http://www.newrepublic.com/article/118931/monogamy-rare-new-commitment-currency

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