Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Snake on a Plane?


This is a response to (the lovely) johnny id’s post. My comment was too long so here it is in post form 😛 If you haven’t seen his blog yet, head over there.

Ok first off, the snake in the title implies a dick involved in joining the Mile high club but to the lesbian/bi girls, you should really try this too.

Ok I’m no expert here (I always seem to fly with partners in the day and friends at night) but I’ve thought long and hard about how us mere plebs can achieve the mile high club.


Wow, me and 'cool chick carol' have a looot in common. I even have the pacman shirt :O

So I think the best way is during an overnight flight. Being Australian, everywhere overseas is 7+ hours away so I’ve done a fair few overnight flights (why spend all day on a plane to arrive somewhere and sleep all night?!). Anyway every time I’ve done them, I’ve noticed all the passengers are either asleep or watching movies. The lights are turned off and the flight attendants only come out if someone presses the button (usually the movie watchers want another alcoholic beverage).

So I figure:
1. Wait until everyone’s asleep. 3am (timezone of where you departed) is a good time. Any later and you might spot the sunrise appear early (changing timezones), and as soon as the sunrise is there, lights go on and breakfast is served. I guess they try and alter your mind so you don’t get jetlag. If you have a two seater then you can get a bit handsy first. If it’s a three seater make sure you don’t get the window seat! You don’t want to climb over a sleeping person!

2. One makes their way to the toilet – it has to be the one in the middle if the plane as flight attendants hang near the front and back ones. Close the door but don’t lock it.

3. The other waits a minute or so then goes to the toilet. Chances of someone else needing the toilet at the same time is pretty slim at 3am. Push the door open casually and enter. No half-asleep person or movie-watcher is going to remember that there’s already someone in there.

4. Lock the door and do the deed. Its not going to be romantic but it will be urgent and primal 😉

5. Return to your seat as you entered or if you want a couple of high fives from the drunk movie-watchers, just come out together. At this point no one can stop you so it depends on whether you care 😉

6. Get back to your seat and grin at each other. Yep, mile high club bitches!

Any other ideas? Have you joined the mile high club? Please share how you managed to do the deed!

Rambling Goat


Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

7 thoughts on “Snake on a Plane?

  1. Thanks for the shout out, glad I could inspire some writing… especially a piece as shamelessly fun as this one. I wonder if some flight attendants would take a few bucks to look the other way? That’d make the process a little easier (though less risque). And it would probably help get arranged in the bathroom if one, or both, partners were extremely small and/or flexible. There’s an excuse to get in some extra yoga time. 😉

    • Bonus points if its *with* the flight attendant! 😛
      And as small as that sink is, you may have to use it.. Last flight I went on there was ample room for a doggy sesh. They must be different for different planes?

  2. OMG I want to do this now!! haha

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