Well I have a feeling this is going to just end up making me sound like a lazy slob but whatevs, I can’t deny. Hahaha!
Bit of background info – I’ve gone from living with my ex and his big family (having 20 people there at one time was not a rare occurrence) to living alone. Well to be fair, my parents have a farm and live in one house and I live in another on the farm. So I’m not *completely* alone. I did however find it a shock at first.
With my 2 year working stint almost done here (and the ex keen to get back together – but that’s a story for another day), I thought I’d reflect on what I’ve enjoyed/despised while living alone.
*The bed gets reeeeeally cold. Sleeping naked is seriously impossible for me, even if I wanted to. In winter I sleep with a hoodie, thick trackies and thick socks on, and I have a doona, blanket and my window closed. Seriously I think I would die if I was naked. And I live in the subtropics hahaha.
*I have to make an effort for sex. Since moving out of home close to 10 years ago, I’ve only ever lived with people I also sleep with. If I’m horny and don’t feel like leaving the house, it works out pretty well. But this way I actually have to look nice, travel *heaven forbid* and put effort in to see fwbs. Damn.
*Far out, I don’t mind cleaning but it wears me down sometimes. I have dogs that I let sleep in my bathroom in winter so they not only run muddy footprints through the house, but leave biscuits on the floor, randomly poo in the middle of the night and one loves to rip up empty toilet rolls. So. Much. Constant. Mess! If I had someone else here to give me a break sometimes (even just sweep the floor!) I’d reeeeeally appreciate it.
*You might think the ability to fart whenever you want is a good thing, but I’m getting wayyyy too relaxed. When I have people around or live with people again, I may just let one slip. And we all know girls don’t poo or fart.
*Constant fear of death. Well not exactly constant but I’ve contemplated situations where I slip and fall, or electrocute myself or have a heart attack and no one knows. I might not be discovered for hours or heaven forbid, days! I should really carry my mobile around with me but I don’t. And I guess that won’t save me from being electrocuted.
*Falling asleep on the couch. No one wakes you up! It sucks. I wake up and its 3am and the TV is still blaring.
*Using the bathroom with the door open, its liberating!
*No one judges me for occasionally eating chips and drinking a beer in bed (I have a tv in my bedroom) or having ice cream for breakfast.
*Getting reacquainted with porn. Wow, I learnt some great threesome positions the other week. Actually maybe this is a con too – I opened up a site this morn while eating breakfast (someone recommended it to me) and I scrolled down and saw a girl with her legs spread and bloody fingers. I almost vommed up my breakfast. Rags porn! Or is that considered vampire porn?! For those remembering back to my Phone Sex post, I didn’t finger fuck myself while on rags, stick to the clit folks, stick to the clit!
*If you have no clean cups while having a ‘fuck doing the washing up’ moment, you can drink out of the juice bottle without feeling guilty! Ok ok I’ve done it twice and felt guilty both times, but still, I didn’t have to do the washing up before quenching my thirst. Woooo!
*I can watch whatever I want on tv! All. The. Time. I can’t deal with zombie shows! I analyse shit way too much. Like who made up that zombies move slow? Its too convenient when you’re running away.. Make them run (and drop limbs while they’re running!) Or is that just a leper Whatevs. I’m more of a comedy/sports/space documentary type than a crime and zombie drama type.
*I can look as bad as I want around the house. Ok those of you in relationships are going to say ‘yeah I do that already, my partner doesn’t judge me’. No, I wake up with birds nest hair and don’t bother fixing it for hours, even after I’ve already seen it in the mirror. Or I have a giant white headed pimple and leave it there without popping it/putting cream on it/coating it in makeup.
So in summary, I guess I’m more addicted to WordPress and memes now, but at least I drink less? Having ‘me’ time is kind of rad but I also love the onslaught of a bunch of sweaty post-football boys sitting on my couch dripping soy sauce all over it. Maybe I just need 2 houses? 😛