Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

A Day in the Life of Rambling Goat


Well I woke up the other morning to the smell of a septic tank. Nice. I think the pipes were completely empty is something cos it also smelled of old pipes. Oh well, I just flushed the toilet a few times and ran some taps to get rid of the smell.

I did a load of washing in the morning and only remembered it after lunch, whoops. I couldn’t hang it on the line because it was raining (it wasn’t raining when I put the load on!) so my house became a makeshift clothes line.

At lunch I decided to msg Mr Married. After sending a dirty msg I realise the inappropriateness of sexting a guy who’s looking after his sick dad. I guess its a catch 22; he’s away from his wife for the week so he’s been chatting more than usual but I should probably let him look after his dad and not bother him, and especially not with dirty convos. He writes back “Haha I’m going to have to go for a bit, I don’t think anyone should be this horny when they’re about to walk into a nursing home”. My bad x2.


Then in the afternoon I had a shower and hopped out, put my towel on my face (and rubbed my eyes) then realised my towel smelled of septic tank. I threw it onto the ground in like .5 of a second and grabbed another one. I guess the smell soaked into it? Again with a pink-eye freakout, I’m reeeeeally starting to get used to this.

So I go to get out some underwear knowing that it’s rag time. There’s only white underwear in my drawer (you just really don’t want to take that risk), all the others are damp laying on a chair fooouuurrrccckk!! So I throw a pair onto the heater to dry (but turn it off so it doesn’t catch fire or something) and put on some trackies.

Now for the chooks. Well all I have to do is go to their run and close the door to their house but I can’t find shoes except old work boots. Oh well they’ll do. All goes well (considering it’s pitch black and I have no torch) until I slip on a hose on the way back. It had been raining in the day but at least it wasn’t still raining I guess.

I get back to the house and smell the septic again. Eeeew seriously life! Not funny! I run a whole bunch of taps and the smell goes away. That or my nose gets used to the smell. I prefer the former.

I go to get a beer and there’s no cold ones. I considered putting warm beer in a cup with some iceblocks.. Well I’m not THAT desperate. Tonight. Can’t say I’ve never done it.

I turn the heater back on and sit watching my underwear dry and thinking ‘yeeeeep just another day of unfortunate incidents’. But on the plus side, I didn’t start twitching and I didn’t amount to drinking warm beer. As my dad always says “I’m unlucky with the little things but I’m lucky with the bigger stuff”. True that!

Rambling Goat

Oh yeah and a footnote to that story – I’ve self diagnosed myself with worms. I’ve given up on the random itchy butt being an injury from anal sex before a chilli festival and got some worming tablets from the chemist.

Look rah rah rah, I should just go to the doctor (I’ve never actually had worms so its all just a guess) but I read that the doctor puts sticky tape over your butthole then rips it off and examines it. And if they don’t see any worms on it (eeeeew!!) then they do a stool test (double eeewwww!!!). Fuck that shit. Thanks internet for the warning! Self diagnosis for the win!


Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

4 thoughts on “A Day in the Life of Rambling Goat

  1. So, your life is hysterical. I enjoyed this more than I should. I too self diagnose myself more than a normal person ever should.

    • Haha yep life is constantly testing my patience. But it can try all it wants, I refuse to snap 😉

      I know we have it good here (free to see a doctor – soon to be like $6 a visit) but it still doesn’t make me want to go there unnecessarily! I’ll wait till I have like 3 or 4 things wrong, *then* it’s worth going 😛

  2. Through self diagnosis I’ve decided I have a brain tumour – but I choose to live a life of ignorant bliss! Besides, the tumour could be the core of my hilarity mwehehe!

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