Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

I need a drink.


Well another day, another morning of waking up with no pants on (seriously this happens to me a LOT), another freak out day where my little cousin takes control of my tablet (there’s really too much suss stuff on here.. My bad), and another moment of realisation that I’m all class (a hole in my sock, a stain on my pants next to my groin – and I’ve been interacting with people, what is it and how long has that been there?!?!?! – aaaand a pimple forming right next to my lip).

Ain’t life grand.

Well the good news is that my tablet will be back in my full possession by the end of the week. The bad news is it already has a whole bunch of farm animal and adopted pet games on it.

I love her enthusiasm but just because I watch pokemon doesn’t mean I’ll enjoy ‘petting’ a dog called Bingo with my finger to a touchscreen. I’ve got real dogs. One of those delightful dogs I speak of humped her when she sat on the floor next to it and then my other dog humped the first dog. Hump train. Can’t beat reality!

Twelve and a half hours of unwarranted babysitting of a child today makes me realise that kids are a long way off in my life. Looooong way. My clothes have been on the line for 2 days, I haven’t crapped in 2 days and I’ve taught myself (and a little humanoid) how to make a stuffed toy from an idea (BMO from adventure time) and some scrap fabric. Did I even eat today?!

I need a holiday.

And i’m only 2 days in.


I’ve got more posts to finish and put up but I’ll be a little MIA while I question how a non-sugar eating child has so much energy and/or run away from home. She’s a good kid but I need that part of my brain back that remembers to turn the stove off. Apparently for me its also the child-minding part of the brain.

And a big sorry, I find children posts as boring as poetry. Wasn’t intending on this being a ‘I’m slowly going bald’ rant but I guess being exhausted does crazy things to your brain. Like affecting the ability and motivation to use a tv remote. So much respect for parents and anyone who spends everyday working with kids right now; you guys are amazing.

Lesson I have learnt from this: go to bed before the end-of-day twitching starts.

Rambling Goat


Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

13 thoughts on “I need a drink.

  1. Children are the devil. I double birth control my life for a reason.

    • When you’re pregnant they’re a legit parasite. Think about it.
      I’m sure I’ll be fine with it one day (I actually really want to adopt a few kids – more so to give a child a family rather than a parasite phobia..) but right now I want to travel and get drooonk. I’ve got another 10 years of pretending to be 19 left in me 😛 Then I guess I’ll just give up and get responsible haha

  2. ….Favourite Pokémon? Choose wisely.

    • Luxio. Closely followed by pikachu, squirtle and marill. I have a soft spot for magikarp. Definitely favour electric and water types. Haven’t played all the games though so there could be more favourites yet 😛
      And you?

      • It’s such a difficult decision between Tyranitar and Arcanine… If they had discovery channel style sex, then their offspring would be hands down my favourite. I too like Magikarp on a personal basis, mainly because of this.

        Yes…yes. I am a self confessed Pokémon hipster. And damn proud of it. I’m still fucking cool.

        • Ooh I haven’t come across tyranitar before!
          Hahaa that pic is classic! Magikarp is useless and infuriating but I don’t like him for the ugly duckling factor, more for his optimism that splash will do damage 😛

  3. Unless the kid can walk and talk…babysitting for me has always been a no go…I consider myself a functioning adult and then I remember I’ve eaten salsa and chips for lunch and dinner the last four days in a row. Also: your mornings sound identical to mine. LOL.

  4. Lol, I have my own 3 kids 24/7, and people wonder why I keep saying I need a break.. Why I’m always tired.. Why I’m always cleaning… This, this right here is why.. Lol…

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