Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Faking Orgasms


This is a phenomenon that I’ve never really understood,  yet it’s so prevalent in the sexual underworld of society!

How many girlies out there have faked an orgasm?  Or perpetually fake orgasms on a regular basis?  I bet there’s a lot of you!

Heck,  I have done a fakey ONCE in my sexual career.  It was a long while back with a hot blonde who picked me up after recently being dumped (so,  the obligatory “I need to screw my ex out of my system” night stand).  He went down on me,  the poor guy was trying so hard,  but as we were drinking his tongue was like sandpaper and that wasn’t really going to do it for me.  So I faked an orgasm cos I was young and inexperienced and didn’t have the balls yet to speak up,  and thought by doing so we could move on to the banging.  BUT HE KNEW I FAKED IT.

So I never did that again.  And I’m glad.  Because you know what?  There is really nothing wrong with having sexy time and not having the big 0 (depending on context, obviously).


  • It’s just going to perpetuate bad sex.  It’s simple conditioning of the mind – if you fake an orgasm with a guy,  it reinforces him to believe that what he is doing is the right thing to do to get you off.  So,  next time he is going to do the exact same thing,  thinking it’s the right move to do.  And if this is with a recurring sexual partner,  it’s going to make it much more difficult to get to a point where he can get you off.

    You can’t give a dog a treat after pooping on the carpet,  cos then it’s gonna keep poopin there for a reward – see where I’m going here?


  • You’re giving them a falsely inflated ego.  Especially if they’re a one night stand,  why make them think they have hit the jackpot when they haven’t?  If they didn’t get you off,  they should know about it so next time (if there is a next time) they try harder!

    No room for complacency, here!


  • You don’t get anything out of it.  Unless it’s more satisfying for you to make some guy “believe” they are sex gods than actually getting off for yourself,  why fake it when you can actually make it?  I think I’ve spoken about this in a previous post,  but it’s a perfect opportunity to start a dialogue and train that puppy to do the right tricks – or get your hand (or vibrating friend) in there to help out!

    Being a “nice person” isn’t doing you OR him any favours!

  • Sexy time can still be great without that Big O.  I’m a hard nut to crack when it comes to the O,  and honestly sometimes I’m happy to just be pounded and leave it at that.  So,  it’s not like sex is “you fail if you don’t come”.  It doesn’t even have to be BAD if you don’t come,  because sometimes the journey can be just as delightful,  even if we don’t make the destination.


And there’s probably a heap more reasons why you shouldn’t fake orgasms,  but I have a quiz in 20 minutes and should probably start cramming now.


So the moral of the story is something something  stop faking those O’s and just be honest and proactive – you will get much more out of it!


Nonsense Unicorn


Author: nonsenseunicorn

Just another twenty-something year old making sense out of madness. Boom.

6 thoughts on “Faking Orgasms

  1. This is all VERY true. ESPECIALLY the point in sometimes an “O” isn’t necessary for women to have good sex …sometimes we just want to get pounded. HOLLA! …I had an EX who would get angry with ME when I didn’t cum. I felt bad at first and considered faking it but then I was like…whoa…..wait a minute…it’s HIS fault that it didn’t happen. LOL. Needless to say he’s an EX for a reason 🙂

  2. Sandpaper?! Hahahahahahaha wow he sounds like some strange creature.

    • He was testament that just because you’re ridiculously good looking does not mean you’re good in bed!

  3. Gah, I faked all the time….I did it so he would just stop. I mean, he was good, I just didn’t know what made ME tick.

    • Yeah I totally get the “making it stop” function of faking, but it definitely doesn’t get you closer to discovering what makes you tick!

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