Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Phone Sex

11 Comments

Hey Rambling Goat, what did you do last night?
Had phone sex. While on my monthlies. And no tampon. Fuck. Did not expect the night to pan out like that..

Well it started out from a phone call from a fwb on his way home from the pub.
“What are you doing?”
“Watching Jurassic Park, which I’ll have you know is not as lame as I remember it to be..”
“Take your clothes off.”
“Wtf? No chance! Its cold and I’m just sitting here watching TV. Why would I do that?!”

Anyway we had a bit of a normal convo and he starts again..
“Put your hand in your pants. Touch yourself.”

Well I’d given up on the movie at this point anyway and his calm but authoritative tone was preeeeetty hot. But seeing as a couple of times earlier he’d slurred his words I thought this might be setting me up for failure.
“But you’re drunk and I’ve only had one beer. What happens if you ring me tomorrow and say ‘sorry for being so drunk, that was embarrassing’ and I respond with ‘uhhh yeah, well I was sober, so I don’t have any excuse..”

“Cmon, I’m home now, and I’m not drunk. Do it. I’m dropping my pants.”

Nek minute I’m orgasming over the phone, and then he does (mighty mighty hot by the way) and then he swears and tells me he accidently jizzed on his jumper, which I find hilariously amusing.
“Yeah well I might have to change my underwear..”
“Oh my god. Send me a pic.”

Well probably shouldn’t have said that. I haven’t even looked but logic says that I do not want to take a pic of my underwear. And I’m definitely not going to tell him why, I feel that’s going to be a definite mood killer.

Then the thought dawns on me that he may have somehow recorded our convo. He assured me he didn’t and wouldn’t even know how to. *phew!*

We say goodnight, he wants to keep talking but we’d been on the phone for an hour and I was tired, so we ended the call. A couple of mins later I get a msg. I open it and its a photo of his jumper stain bahahaha!

So yep, totally ticked that off, albeit in true shamelessly disgusting Rambling Goat fashion. And I’m updating the sucket list now because for some reason it wasn’t on there :O

Rambling Goat

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Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

11 thoughts on “Phone Sex

  1. I think someone may have tried to phone sex me once and I was playing GameCube and fell asleep.

    Nonsense Unicorn = queen of the sexy times!

  2. It’s easier for me to orgasm from phone sex than normal sex

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