Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

I’m a Proud Slut

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I guess people normally define slut as some girl who goes from dick to dick with no real self worth. Some might say she dresses provocatively, some might say she has issues at home.

Well I’m changing that. I’m using the word slut to mean someone who enjoys sex. Why? I’m sick of people using it as a negative way to describe women. And just like shit and fuck, if you say something enough times, it loses its power. So I’m putting slut on the list.

I’m a proud slut. I love sex. But I also have the ability to turn down sex, have abundant self worth and confidence, and smile. No, I don’t wear short dresses and sky high heels, a slut doesn’t need a uniform. I wear colourful jeans, sneakers, have a beer in my hand and laugh a lot.

I originally thought that the type of guys that went around calling girls ‘sluts’ in a derogatory way was ironically funny, because they’re the only kind of girls these idiots can get. But I’ve since learnt two things;

1. That a lot of nice men use this word also, just not to a girls face. They might say ‘she’s nice but she’s a bit slutty’ or ‘A cheated on B, what a slut’.
The hulk (an ex/friend of mine if you’re a new reader) described one of his ex’s to me along those lines saying ‘she cheated on me – what a slut’ and I had to correct him. “Just because she loves sex doesn’t mean you can blame that for the reason she cheated. I know plenty of women who love sex and don’t cheat. Blame her as a person if you must, but don’t blame her love of sex. There was obviously a lot of moral boundaries she had to cross first so that’s where you should be directing your attention.”

2. Women say it too! We should keep saying it but make sure we use it for the right meaning – its a positive not a negative in my eyes!

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3. A lot of men not only lost their virginity to a slut, but often have sex with these so called sluts. So sluts are building people’s sexual confidence, only to have this be somehow used as a negative back at them.
If you don’t like to have sex with a sex-loving girl, then go have sex with a virgin. And enjoy that bleeding starfish. Or find a girl used to pleasing men and not have it reciprocated (don’t worry, there’s PLENTY of women who can identify with this. Whether or not they want to keep doing it is another story..).
If you do love sluts, then enjoy it, but don’t complain after the fact. It takes 2 to tango and you chose to be involved.

If you think she’s ‘loose’ and its affecting your ability to cum, guess what buddy, its not all about you. Us women are unsatisfied a LOT of the time and don’t complain, so shut up and take one for the team. Or maybe she’s not loose and you actually have a small dick. Just saying..
If you’re disappointed because you ‘thought she’d be good and she wasn’t’, again, it takes 2 to tango so you can half blame yourself for that snorefest. Tie her up, take her out in the yard, try different positions, but don’t just poke-poke-spooge then blame her. Also realise that we can go from drunk and horny to drunk passed out starfish in the blink of an eye, so if you’re giving her tequila shots to get in her pants, calm the fuck down or deal with the consequences.

I guess one problem being a slut is that the orgasm ratio is swayed in men’s favour. Girls are good to other girls, most men are not. There’s a few of you lovely gems out there that love and worship the female form and are generous in your orgasm giving, and for that we thank you. We’re happy to be your partner, fwb (friend with benefits), or random booty call recipient.

For the rest of you, consider this. Men get an orgasm let’s say 95% of the time. I’ll give you a 5% ‘too drunk to cum’ leeway. Now some women are luckier than others in their averages and I guess the older (more numbers to sway your average) and more confident you get in speaking up, this may all change. But I’m going to go ahead and estimate that 50% of my sexual interactions, I did not orgasm. Yeah, I can’t entirely blame men, and I should and do sort myself out if he hasn’t already (thank you cunnilingus fans!), but sometimes I’m just about to cum and the guy does first. Then pulls out and rolls over. What. The. Shit. Or sometimes its a position where I can’t actually play with myself mid-sex.

Yeah, there was that one time an ex thought it’d be funny to see how many times he could make me cum in a row and 22 orgasms later I couldn’t move my legs, but I refuse to include that to sway my percentage. One awesome night of sex shouldn’t discount the vast array of terrible and very quick poke poke spooge sex I’ve had. I’m not a walking fleshlight dammit!

Now think about this. How often does a man give oral to a woman without expecting oral in return or penetrable sex to follow? Never? Its laughable to even consider. Yet we do it all the time. Fortunately through blogging I’ve discovered some lovely male cucks and subs who do this all the time. I bow down with respect to you boys.

I thought I’d bring the question up with a couple of fwbs. “Have you given oral to a girl and not only *not* received any oral back but also not followed up with sex? Just given a girl oral and left it at that?” Both said “probably”. I’m pretty sure you would remember something like that. One of them I was meant to see that week, so I told him “Friday night is vagina night, where I get attention and you get nothing.” He was a good sport, but I’m sad to say this isn’t common. And further probing resulting in him admitting to never doing that before. I doubt the other one could have handled it to be honest.

So yes, I’m calling myself a slut because I love sex but no, it hasn’t always been great or fair. So today, this slut is stopping that. I’m not getting all feminist on you, but I do believe in equality and I also believe that life is what you make it.

I will be orgasming 95% of the time from now on. Greedy? Nope, I’m just getting things back to equal. And if you don’t sort it out for me, then I will. Or my vibrator will. While you watch. Because watching a girl orgasm is awesome. And you obviously need a reminder because you seem to have forgotten.

Girls, love sex! Enjoy yourself and if it gets boring, make it fun. I got bored during one night with a fwb (to be fair he was breaking my record of number of roots in 24 hrs – we got to 10), and ended up introducing a lollipop to my giney while ‘sex and candy’ was playing. It turned him on AND I got a lollipop out of it, score! Hahaha.

If you’re stuck in a monotony rut, or are single and hearing your friends hilarious stories but feeling boring in comparison, have a look at the sucket list we made, it might spur the inner deviant on.

If you’re single with no fwbs and/or have a while between roots, wank! Seriously I know guys already do it everyday but girls, if you don’t use it you lose it. It keeps the libido alive. Make friends with your vibrator. Sometimes I do it because I haven’t in a few days. And if I didn’t I know I’d end up not being all that interested in sex convos, taking cheeky pics, dirty text msgs or even sex at all to an extent. This is going to sound awful but I’ve even done it next to a sleeping partner before. A few times. Because I’m tired and CBF going through with the whole time-consuming act in the middle of the night.

So I challenge you to make it one of the chores you do every week if you haven’t already and haven’t had sex. Excuse yourself for some ‘me’ time and read some erotic stories or watch porn. Or send a cheeky text, more often than not you’ll get a cheeky one back. If nothing else, it’s exercise where you get a niiiice reward. And at best, you ooze (sorry!) sexual confidence and walk around with a grin and a twinkle in your eye..

Next time you hear someone use slut as a negative term, argue the point. How is loving sex a bad thing? And if she’s getting a lot of sex then power to her! Go girl! I personally don’t see the difference between a girl in a relationship having sex once a week and a single girl getting sex once a week. Even if its with different people, it’s the same amount of vagina use. Yeah there’s the std risk, but guys refusing to wear condoms is a whole different avenue and is a story for another day. I’ll sum it up to: wear one and you’ll be fine.

So girls, embrace your inner slut, she’ll thank you for it πŸ˜€ Guys, love and appreciate sluts, without us you’d be dating your hand πŸ˜‰ and if you feel like you’ve been orgasm greedy in the past, give us a pure and simple vagina night every once in a while. We’ll be shocked but you’ll get lottttsss of brownie points!

Rambling Goat

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Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

17 thoughts on “I’m a Proud Slut

  1. An epic fine read. Good luck!

    There seems to be a lot of schizophrenia in western culture, in which sexuality is all over the media but puritan values overlap with that. Men want to get laid, and in the same breath berate sluts. It doesn’t add up does it?

    I think all scientific studies confirm that sex and masturbation are healthy, yet why do so many still view it in a negative light? Some cultural imprints run deep, and it’s hard to reprogram oneself. Try your best, sluts out there! I definitely think girls should be more greedy in the self-pleasure regard, and the world would be a better place.

    I for one like to give oral without receiving oral, although I do prefer to be reciprocated in other ways. Cunnilingus is a skill worth nurturing, but I never really liked being blown. I like a bunch of other things, just not that one. Such is me. Vagina night, there is an idea but might be a challenge to my own greedy impulses… howsabout mutual masturbation? No oral back is totally fine by me, no penetrating I can deal with, but must there be no reciprocation at all?? A challenge indeed.

    Well that’s just my take, any actual females out there to comment…

    • Let me add this. I think I’ve been using the word slut wrong, in all sorts of ways. Firstly, slut is of course (usually) a very sexist term and I shouldn’t say that when I’m mad. Sorry. You take back the word, you go girl.

      But mainly may I share that I have this theory: Sluts vs. Nymphos. By this definition what you are espousing above is the glory of being a nympho. I’ve come across many a-nympho — for which I am eternally grateful — and this type know what they want and fully enjoy the genital arts. These women, often older and accomplished, should be commended for being confident and knowing what they want and being true to themselves. They are quite awesome. More empowering power to ’em!

      Sluts, as per this definition, are an altogether different personality type. They have sex not because they enjoy it, but because they just do what some alpha guy tells them to do. They would be the ones you describe pleasing men and not having it reciprocated. The ones we can psychoanalyze as having daddy issues and bad self-esteem and only seeking out fucks to validate their self-worth. Etc. The young trying to figure it all out, the train wrecks causing drama, the gold-diggers as well. Sex for the wrong reasons. Ergo, nymphos would the cool kind and sluts the sad pathetic kind.

      But who the hell am I to judge, why should I look down on someone and think I know what’s in their hearts?? I’m henceforth retiring this little internal dialogue of mine. Even with this disclaimer definitions, it might just be a rationalization for me to prop up my own patriarchal programming or something. I’ll try to stop doing that. Shutting up now.

      You have me convinced. Sluts should be a positive term. Promiscuity, done safely, is healthy and awesome. The end.

      • Mutual masturbation is fine and fun but I just want to make it known that a lot of the time women please men, and once pleased they roll over and go to sleep. This is the unequal vs equal debate which of course is different for everyone. So yes its a challenge and I personally complete that challenge approximately half the time. Do I get a medal or something? πŸ˜›

        Yeah I agree that there could be a fine line between loving sex and being a nympho but I think that would depend on the amount of sexual urges you have. A nympho (I assume, I’m no doctor) lives and breathes sex whereas anyone (bar virgins I guess..) can just love sex. They could be having it once a week or once a month, it doesn’t matter, when they have it they love it. A nympho I would imagine thinks about it quite a lot and fuuuuck, I’ve just realised I could be a nympho. Thanks ray! Hahaha

        Anyway I happily encourage masturbation not to turn someone into a nympho, although this could happen, but more to keep it ticking πŸ˜›

        Yeah some girls have sex for the wrong reasons but I’m trying to avoid the judgement on these ‘sad pathetic kind’, and say instead that women can choose have sex with who they want and for whatever reason they want. It might be a ‘wrong reason’ to you and I but to them its the right reason and they choose to do it so power to them. It should be no ones business why someone else has sex, especially if it doesn’t involve us πŸ˜›

        We luckily live in countries where we can have sex with who we want (well are able to turn down some and approach others), when we want, where we want and however we want. And for whatever reason we want. So we should bloody well use these rights and be proud of them πŸ˜€

        Don’t need to shut up ray, talking is good!

      • Nympho is more of an obsession or addiction to sex – one can thoroughly enjoy sex and not be addicted to it.

        • I know. Just my personal definition I used to try out for this distinction. I mean it in the highest possible terms of endearment.

          However, I’m also of the camp that doesn’t believe in sex addiction.

          • Wow, out of intrigue I’d love to see you do a post on that πŸ™‚

          • According to a neurological study by UCLA last year, there is no such thing as sex addiction. It’s likely just something celebrity therapists made up to excuse cheating. Research shows that healthy human beings are supposed to have a strong libido, and like what is someone cured supposed to never want sex??

            I dunno though, people can be addicted to anything. I’d say moderation in all things but I don’t want moderation in that regard.

            That said, I’ve contemplated before that I may be a sex addict. Can a male be a nympho by this definition…?

            Glad to help you learn that you (could be considered) a nympho πŸ˜€

            Eh its all semantics in the end

            In other news has anyone seen the Lars von Trier movie Nymphomaniac?

          • Yeah its a hard line between addiction and just loving something, but I’d say if you *have* to stop what you’re doing to go get something and can’t just wait until an appropriate time, then that would be addiction. As in, the need for said item/act (and the feeling you get from it) is stronger than your control. Probably should have looked at wikipedia but hey, that’s my interpretation. So yeah, I believe there are all different addictions, and IMO I do believe sex to be one of them.

            I’m sure some people blame addiction for the reason they cheated but the real addicts are those who have sex possibly multiple times a day because their body feels like it can’t cope without it. A healthy strong libido might be might one thing but having sex with various people, various times a day to satisfy a strong craving? Sounds more than just strong! I guess the other thing is most people want to have sex because they have a connection with the person, are turned on by them in the moment or leading up to it. I would assume a sex addict is turned on first, *then* finds a candidate.

            Sleeping with a random on the odd occasion while you’re in a closed relationship is *I assume* because something is missing in the main relationship.

            Sleeping with randoms for fun still has the horniness lead up and some sort of connection first (sexual attraction) although in saying that I did hook a friend up for sex with one sentence. “My girl friend over there just got out of a 7 year relationship and is real horny, can you help?”. She *was* horny and I guess the rebound hookup is a strange occurrence but I’d say a one-off is allowed without classifying it as addiction. And she did try to date him after *facepalm* so there was an emotional connection too..

            Interesting study result though. And hey, what do I know? πŸ˜‰ sex is a great invention, that’s all we need to know right?! πŸ˜›

  2. YES! It’s like eating a chocolate cake cos it tastes awesome and then be all like “eh chocolate cake” – now I’m rambling and that’s probably a really bad analogy but …. Pussy power woo!

  3. I have been called a slut a couple of times. By men only.
    After I have turned them down. Go figure!

    • Hahaha good on you for shutting them down, that’ll teach the idiots that our brains are connected to our vaginas and vice versa πŸ˜‰

      • Yup, personally I don’t enjoy sex with people I don’t enjoy conversing with. Even when it comes to a quick fix of my needs, I will always choose brains over brawn/beauty.
        Not that brawny/beauty equals stupid.
        I am just saying that I am a healthy sceptic towards dolls, both male and female.
        I have turned down model type guys half way through their gibberish flirting, telling them: β€œNah, you are too pretty for me. Find someone your own beauty level.” Always with the same result, I am the slut or a whore.

        • Which is ironic because if you were the slut/whore that they describe, you wouldn’t have turned them down πŸ˜‰

          I don’t often go for looks, more of sexual attraction. And that might be a dirty little twinkle in the eye or a cheeky grin. If they’re awesome to talk to as well then hey, potential fwb or partner.

          But yes, we have the ability to say no. And so do they. The intelligent mature ones will realise that if you’re not feeling it, then you’re not feeling it. Simple as that. The idiotic immature ones (who more often then not are a classic poke poke spooge anyway), don’t understand this simple concept, getting emotional if we aren’t interested but are then emotionless when turning the next girl down. I’d be tempted to retort “if I’m a slut and even I’m turning you down, what does that say about you?” but I guess that’s just stooping to their level πŸ˜‰

  4. Pingback: Insatiable | Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

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