Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

How to find a Boyfriend

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Some people make out that being single is worse than being a leper in a bubble bath.  I get that being in a relationship has its perks, havin that “partner in crime” to share stuff with –  but I feel that people forget that being a single  lone ninja has just as many perks!

So,  here are a few thoughts for those of you out there who just can’t be happy with your single self!

There’s more to you than being someone’s partner

Don’t define yourself by someone else – you are an individual and should cherish the fact.  Besides,  would you want to be with someone who just obsesses about your relationship?  No,  I’m sure you would rather be with someone who is an awesomely entertaining individual who you love being around,  not a pubic lice that exists merely to be attached to you.

So,  stop being that obsessive person who “isn’t whole until you have a partner” – make yourself whole and then a partner in the future would just be a bonus!

Stop obsessing over your ex

If you’re still talking about your ex,  what they’re doing,  how much of a jerk they are, stalking their facebook and having secret fantasies of them crawling back to you – you shouldn’t be looking for another person to complicate your already confused mind.

Give yourself time to get over your ex – go eat some ice cream,  get hella drunk and be angry at the world – whatever floats your boat.  A rebound isn’t going to fix your problems.

Besides,  it’s not a particularly attractive trait to someone else if all you can talk about is “how bad your ex treated you”.  People smell the desperation – do don’t go out on the game until that ex is out of your system.

It happens when you’re not looking for it

That sounds so horrendously cliche,  does it not?  But you know what,  I think a lot of cliches have truths in them and that’s why everybody knows it – they just don’t practice what they know to be true.

I think this is totally how it goes, because when you’re not desperately sniffing out for some poon/wang, that’s when you surrender to being yourself.  Confident,  because you’re not trying to impress anyone,  you’re just having a good time.

And confidence is sexy and attractive.

Dang,  I have found my best hook ups and relationships on the nights when I went out just to have a good time,  not thinking ONCE about trying to meet someone.  Gosh,  one night I was dressed up as a dog and managed to pick up – why? Cos I was just running around like an idiot having a good time,  and that guy saw the fun person I can be.

Patience is a virtue,  friends.  If you try and rush everything,  you end up with gross, runny half-baked pancakes and ain’t nobody wanna eat that!

You reek of desperation

People are much more receptive than you give them credit for.  Do you ever get the vibe from a friend or family member when they’re upset or sad,  and they haven’t even said anything to you about it?  It’s because humans have this weird way of being able to sense emotions and feelings from other people.

So,  other people can totally sense when you’re there salivating at the prospect of meeting your future husband.  It’s a repellant.  Just have a good time!


There are so many awesome things about being single anyway!

  • Food is so much cheaper cos you only have to cook for one. Boom!
  • You can sit at home in your onesie eating KFC while playing GTA without feeling self conscious.
  • You save a lot of money due to the fact you can shave your legs quarterly.
  • You have way more time to do the things you want to do, like hobbies and all that kinda stuff.

And a heap of other stuff that I couldn’t be bothered to write about it and now have to go out to dinner so something something embrace your singleness!  You’re an individual – start that relationship with yourself!


Nonsense Unicorn


Author: nonsenseunicorn

Just another twenty-something year old making sense out of madness. Boom.

One thought on “How to find a Boyfriend

  1. *you can watch episode after episode of rupauls drag race without a bf loudly facepalming and twitching next to you.
    *you don’t have to pretend to like a bf’s friends! You can actually spend your time with people you like 😀
    *you only get the ‘are you seeing anyone right now?’ question at family functions rather than the ‘when are you two getting married?’, ‘when are you going to give me grandkids?’ and the dreaded embarrassing baby photos coming out constantly.
    *you can decorate your house/room exactly the way you want it.
    *you can pause a show for hours while you distract yourself on WordPress and fb without anyone whinging 😉
    *pooing with the door open. Woooo its fully Cray Cray! Except that time when my dog jumped on my lap. Awkwardddd.

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