Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

I’m Bringing Sexy Back. Nah, jks.


“Send me a sexy pic of your mouth..” Was the request.
There had been a convo about bjs between me and a fwb. He knows what my mouth looks like but hey, we’re not in a close proximity tonight so a few dirty messages never go astray. So I tried.

But in true Rambling Goat fashion, one pic looked far too teethy, another somehow ended up showing up my nostrils and the third.. Well I sucked my finger. And then instantly thought ‘oh god, are my hands clean?!’. Well they weren’t cos something tasted bad and I got a freakin dog hair on my tongue.


‘Yeahhh I literally can’t make that look hot, sorry’

‘Well try’

‘I did’

Oh and I’m not finished because then I thought ill just send a couple of normal pics instead, so told him, then while they were ‘sending’, my wifi cut out (I’m on a tablet). And I went to reconnect, but instead of hitting connect, I hit ‘forget’. So it deletes the password. And my wifi thingy is next door (long story).


Cue a phone call to get the password again, and I’m finally back on. I have one msg from the guy ‘oooooiiiiiii’. He’s still waiting for the pics. They send but my heart/vagina isn’t in it anymore.

‘You might want to just go watch porn or whatever cos I’m having WiFi problems and my horn is now dead. Gonna go watch game of thrones, msg me later byeee!’

So I’m now in bed wearing a hoodie, drinking beer, eating a packet of chips and wondering why I keep trying to be sexy. Cos its a hilarious challenge? Yeeeah, but I give up for today haha.

Another msg from him. ‘What you doin?’

‘Eating chips and drinking beer in bed, my bad, but its a sat night so don’t judge.’

‘I am actually finding that extremely sexy.’

In conclusion, most people just like you for you. Now get out the basket of puppies cos I’m going to go ahead and say naaaaawwwww! Thanks boys! And girls! But I *will* keep trying to be sexy when I feel the urge to, if only for my own amusement. And probably more blog posts 😛

Rambling Goat


Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

8 thoughts on “I’m Bringing Sexy Back. Nah, jks.

  1. Uch, nothing can kill the mood like wifi problems. Been there!

    Nice positive message in the conclusion there, really. You women underestimate how every single thing you do is sexy. That said, it’s better to create a certain mood isn’t it…

    How about sharing some pics of this attempt-at-sexy mouth? Still anonymous, nobody would know, a visual reference would be nice 😀

  2. connect hit disconnect…haha, that was a good one

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