Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Shower Thought of the Day #5


*While washing arse* ‘ohhhh damn. Forgot to do the face first. Uhhhh do I…?’
Well I did. Another *am I about to get pink-eye?* moment for my life.

This guy I used to work with was once telling me about a towel he bought that was half white and half brown, so that there was never any chance of the part that touches your bum from touching your face. I tried to convince him that if you’ve cleaned your butt, then it doesn’t matter if that bit touches your face, cos it should be clean.

But out of interest, I went home and followed my towel from start to finish and you know what’s going to happen next – the butt part was my face part. Fooouuurrrccckkkk! I suddenly disregarded all those comments I’d said about clean butts being ok. And I’ve since changed my drying routine.

I guess guys/girls who like to lick buttholes during sex will probably think I’m a nutcase at this point.

While I’m on showering topics, I have an invention folks.
Having a physical job (I’m a gardener), I’m often standing in the shower unable to fathom the process of washing myself. But I’ve figured out that if we have car washes for people too lazy to wash their cars, why can’t we have body washes for people too lazy to wash themselves?!

And while all the squirting of water, squirting of foam, rollers going up and down your body and the rinse squirt is happening, why not somehow have a massage happening on your back? And if we’re going to be that lazy to begin with, we might as well make a happy ending feature too 😀

My guy friends have warned me that a robotic wank is a little terrifying so I guess whoever invents this (probably the Japanese, judging from their toilets), will need to make this without any possibility of malfunctioning.. Getting raped by a robot is not cool.

Rambling Goat


Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

9 thoughts on “Shower Thought of the Day #5

  1. I don’t think you’re a nutcase, and I only “lick buttholes” right after a shower. 🙂

  2. Yeah I think you’re a nutcase at this point.
    Human carcass wash at Burning Man is like that, people washing you. Its not a machine but it’s the gist. As for happy endings, well…

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