Monkeys are just dogs with hands.
Think about it.
I throw the ball for my dog, it grabs it, runs off and hides under a seat. Congrats, you suck at fetch. On purpose. Because you’re being a cheeky fuck. Now I’m imagining that if my dog had hands, not only would it grab the ball and run off, it’d probably also throw the ball at my head. And thus a monkey is born.
Don’t even get me started on if they could speak English..