Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

The ones you screw in your 20’s


Sex. There’s good times and there’s bad times. And sometimes there are just times. Yeah, those ones that just happen and meh, that’s it.

It’s a topic that a lot of us on here are so intrigued with, writing about our experiences and all that. And more times than not, I find myself thinking, “woah! That exact thing happened to me!” Which made me start to think that maybe there is some invisible list out there that we are all fumbling through (with our vaginas), screwing the same types of guys.

So, here’s our list of the sexual encounters you will have in your teens, 20s, and maybe even later, who knows I’m not over that hill yet so let’s leave it at that.

And if you don’t think you’ve slept with any one these types – YOU WILL. Dun dun DUNNn!


The small one
The big one
The young one
The old one
The mistake
The jerk
The seemingly unattainable (which has now been attained!)
The rebound
The forgettable *yawwwwnnn*
The unforgettable
The girl
The married/taken one
The virgin
The watermelon (a virgin in their mid-late 20s. The cherry has grown so huge that it is now a watermelon)
The first time guy
The stinky one
The hairy beast
The creepy one
The talker
The friend
The extremely loud one
The questionable sexuality one
The nervous fumbler
The rough one
The constantly apologetic one
The constantly drunk one
The one only interested after 10pm
The uneventful liar (tells everyone you had sex when you actually didn’t)
The adonis (so attractive you question how the hell you actually picked him up)
The butt ugly
The secret one that will stay secret so as not to cause drama
The teacher (‘well that’s new! Aaand I like it!’)
The one who made you fall asleep mid-sex (slow sex at 3am – ain’t nobody got time fo dat!)
The so-good-at-sex-that-I-fear-my-next-root-with-someone-else-will-suck one

Like the sucket list, more suggestions are welcomed!

Nonsense Unicorn and Rambling Goat


Author: nonsenseunicorn

Just another twenty-something year old making sense out of madness. Boom.

2 thoughts on “The ones you screw in your 20’s

  1. The one who does everything possible to have sex with you without a condom until you just get fed up and leave. I recently experienced that… Funny thing is he kept texting me asking me why I left when I told him in no uncertain terms why. Ended up just blocking his number. That’s one too I suppose, the incessant texter… The clingy one. 😛

  2. Pingback: Online Dating Freak-outs | Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

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