Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Shut your Whore Mouth

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Here’s a quick tip to awesomeness – don’t make gross noises with your mouth.

Sounds easy, right?  Well,  you would be sadly mistaken with that assumption, as there is a surprisingly large amount of disgusting grot-masters out there that have the inability to possess mouth discretion.

This includes:

  • Loud kissing.  Another person’s face is not a lollipop so stop sucking off like it is.  No one likes a slobbery face anyway,  so why make disgusting smooching noises?
  • Weird ass snorting throat noises.  What the hell is that disgusting noise that sounds like a suffocating duck?  Itchy throat or something?  Have a drink or something and pipe the fuck down.
  • LOUD EATING.  This encapsulates slurping, crunching, slopping and slapping of the mouth while eating.  THIS MAKES ME WANT TO VOM.  I hung out with a loser for years who made disgusting slurping nom nom noises when eating,  and I swear he never noticed, but I literally could not finish my meal when eating with him (unless if we were in a loud restaurant so I couldn’t hear it and look elsewhere).  But seriously, CLOSE YOUR DISGUSTING MOUTH.

Why is it so hard for people to close their damn mouths?

So there you have it – a simple way to earn another notch up the awesome ladder of rainbows.

 

Nonsense Unicorn

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Author: nonsenseunicorn

Just another twenty-something year old making sense out of madness. Boom.

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