Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Wait, what was your name?!

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I like to think I’m pretty down to earth. But I’ve just discovered a superficiality flaw in my life. And that’s peoples names.

I’m sure Roger is a lovely person but could I date him? Hmm… Or Dwain is pulling the moves on me but am I going home with him? Uhh.. Reuben is trying to kiss me..

I’m so sorry boys, but it seems to be an issue for me. And stupidly on the flip side, girls can do no wrong in my eyes. She could be called Lady Dickface and I wouldn’t care. Although Brit *could* be an issue seeing as every time I hear it I think of Bret from Flight of the Conchords (with a New Zealand accent). If you haven’t watched it before, go check it out. Although you might end up with this hilarious Brett/Brit association too.. Sorry about that.

Don’t ask me how my brain works, I’m pretty disappointed with it though. Especially when one of my ex’s sisters is dating a guy with the same name as his. Power to you girl! I wouldn’t even kiss a guy with my brothers name.

My first kiss was with a boy with my dads name but maybe that’s what scarred me. He was younger than me but a bad boy rebel who stole some other kids bike to ride over and see us girls. It sunk in after the kiss that stealing someone else’s bike was fucked and I quickly got over that idiot.

I still go for bad boys though.. Dammit, the lure of rebel is too strong and the stench of not giving a fuck is sexy. I’m sorry nice guys, you’re not dirty enough for me! You’ve got to have a bit of dirt in you or you’re going to get the ‘friend’ label over and over again. And if you’re called Rene then you might need to be even more badass to make up for it..

I’m sorry to those in the past and future who get rejected by me because of your names. I’m going to try and work my way around it by giving you nicknames that probably won’t be in any way close to or relevant to you or your name.  Like ‘crow’. Or ‘gravy’. Just go with it.

Rambling Goat

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Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

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