Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

Totes Using You

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More often than not, women get used by men. Yep, they like our vag holes more than our company. Turns out when im single, I have some sick fetish to balance out life for us all and do the opposite, I’m the user. Well to be fair, I guess any 2 willing bodies wanting sex is using eachother, but I honestly don’t care where they work and I don’t want to hear their stories about their friends who went to *insert boring country here*. I don’t want to date them so what does it matter? The more I know, the less interested I am. My vagina controls my brain, not the other way around.

A few years after I’d lost my v cards to my first boyfriend, I saw him out one night. He was wearing a full pink outfit and a pink feather boa as some sort of fancy dress. And dancing very girly on the d-floor. I found this hilariously ironic seeing as he had broken up with me for liking women (and thought I would end up dumping him for a girl). I guess he didn’t encourage this idea to use to his own advantage aka a 3some. 

Point of the story is, I went to see him shortly after that and used him. And then left. I don’t need to stick around for small talk and cuddles. He chased me out onto the street and yelled ‘did you just use me?!’ Yep. I did.

And now he’s married and is wanting me to use him over and over again. Which I would happily partake in, except for the fact that I don’t want to be stabbed by a psychotic wife. Bitches be Cray Cray.

Rambling Goat

Update: I’ve decided I’m not going to get stabbed. Fuck it. The vagina can’t say no to that guy. And luckily he now lives in another state so it won’t be often enough to arouse suspicion. Boom. Vagina wins over brain once again!


Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

One thought on “Totes Using You

  1. Pingback: Sexing an Ex | Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

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