If you haven’t vomited yet, you’re not partying hard enough.
We’ve all been there, right? Maybe drunk a little bit too much alcoholic goodness that your stomach couldn’t keep it all in?
Well, I suppose when it happens to me, it’s never at a convenient time of being located near a toilet. So, here’s a list of some of the interesting circumstances that I have ended up drunkenly expelling my stomach remnants.
If you have some stories to share, comment below!
Places I have vomited
- This wasn’t alcohol induced, but I did projectile vomit in the middle of a busy walkway at the Easter Show one year after eating a dodgy hot dog and riding on the fast train ride. Luckily, I missed people by inches, but my partner at the time was not amused and walked 3 metres behind me for the rest of the day.
- In the middle of a train station platform (I think nobody saw, but I was too immersed at the time to tell).
- Luckily the train had a toilet after the platform incident, so 2 hours of barfing in there all the way home.
- Into a plastic bag Rambling Goat held to my mouth while I was driving up a windy country road. Pretty dangerous in retrospect, but this was before the days of knowing alcohol was still in your system the morning after – and there was nowhere to pull over.
- On my lap while driving to work.
- On my lap (again) in the middle of a road in Phuket, where 5 guys had to carry me back to my hotel room, still barfing all over myself. Classy, right? Not my fault their tequila shots are like 1L jugs.
- Naked, over a bath full of ice. Although I don’t remember this happening so if I didn’t see it it didn’t happen, right? Rambling Goat would think otherwise of this…
- At a music festival, I once ate a hot dog and magically barfed it up again whole and intact (I seriously don’t even know how that happened).
- Walking home from said music festival, I think I may have vomited on every tree we walked past like a dog marking their territory – that could be up for debate though.
- After drinking almost half a bottle of vodka at a wedding (why else would you have it there on the table if it wasn’t meant to be drunk?!), I vomited all over myself and the backseat of a friend’s car. I think they had to drag me inside and put me naked in the shower to wash it all off. They don’t talk to me anymore.
- In my mouth while serving a customer at a fruit shop. I had to smile and nod and pretend it didn’t happen and spat it into a bin below. While going out to the toilet, I also vomited in the middle of an aisle in the shop. I told them I wouldn’t be coming back.
There are probably many more stories that have been forgotten due to my past of severe drunkeness.