I currently have a flock of horny men buzzing around all forms of communication in my life. I’m not complaining, I love dirty convos, but I seem to have attracted a bunch of potential drama-inducing men.
One guy has a gf and young kid and talks dirty to me through Skype or sms on the days when he is home minding his sick kid or days off work.
Another is an ex from 10 years ago who is now married – he chats to me through fb messages on an account I created for tinder and now just use for overseas friends. I guess by refusing to ‘friend’ him, his wife has even less of an idea we’re chatting.
There’s another one that is my grey-haired ex boss. He’s a fit, gruff 40+ yr old with a heart of gold. He chats to me on Viber.
There’s a younger one in his early 20s who I’ve slept with quite a few times (and have some dirty convos with, but mostly send photos) but is now worryingly trying to cross over from the fuck buddy with distance status to the I’m inviting myself to your place for the long weekend and bringing my dog status. I live 6 hrs drive away, so its not exactly a casual visit. I can see him when I visit friends but he has no other reason to come here than to see me. We chat on WhatsApp and Viber.
Then there’s the ex who I recently had ex sex with and is now ringing and messaging me on WhatsApp most days (we dated for quite a few years and are pretty close). This is not exactly a potential drama but straight after the recent sex he had a possessive, grumpy, argument with our whole group of friends on a night out because I told him – earlier in the day – that I’m sexually attracted to 2 of his friends (but would never do anything, he’s already laid down his specific rules). At the time of telling him we’d been chatting and laughing about people we’d slept with since each other and it was a no big deal convo, but I guess once alcohol enters the mix, small things become huge issues.
Anyway I’ve learnt two things from all this;
1. Sex can cause a whole lot of drama. Even talking about sex to someone else or talking about sex with someone else can cause some big issues.
2. A lot of men love fantasy. Whether its the *thought* of having a mistress or the attraction between senior boss and young worker, it seems that anything a little bit different and left field of their apparently boring reality is a winner. I’m not going to admit to them that I just found a spider in my saucepan, have a piece of rice stuck under my foot and burnt my toast. My reality is hilariously unattractive and isn’t going to be anyone’s fantasy!
You might say ohhh these men going behind their gfs/wives backs are pigs or how could you entertain them knowing they’re hiding shit from their partners. Well I actually had a mistress (not hidden, I actually spoke openly to my bf at the time and he allowed it) and I ended up having better and more sex with the bf during that time! It helped our sex lives, so although I don’t agree with the hidden part (and have told them to talk to their partners about open marriage/relationship), I do think that a bit of sex talk on the side may actually get them back into bed with their partners.
Personally I don’t want to get married (I dont see the point) or want to have a closed relationship and I guess this kind of proves why. I don’t want to deny my partner their natural urges and have them hiding shit behind my back. I’d rather have an open and honest relationship and if that means everyone involved gets to have sex with people they’re sexually attracted to then its a win win in my eyes. I didn’t stop loving the bf because I was having sex with someone else, in fact I really started liking her too. Seems my heart is big enough to share naaawww ❤ haha.
Open your minds folks, don't just stick with what society tells you to do cos drama is fucking annoying. And will probably make you go bald from stress. True story.