Here’s a quick tip to awesomeness – don’t make gross noises with your mouth.
Sounds easy, right? Well, you would be sadly mistaken with that assumption, as there is a surprisingly large amount of disgusting grot-masters out there that have the inability to possess mouth discretion.
- Loud kissing. Another person’s face is not a lollipop so stop sucking off like it is. No one likes a slobbery face anyway, so why make disgusting smooching noises?
- Weird ass snorting throat noises. What the hell is that disgusting noise that sounds like a suffocating duck? Itchy throat or something? Have a drink or something and pipe the fuck down.
- LOUD EATING. This encapsulates slurping, crunching, slopping and slapping of the mouth while eating. THIS MAKES ME WANT TO VOM. I hung out with a loser for years who made disgusting slurping nom nom noises when eating, and I swear he never noticed, but I literally could not finish my meal when eating with him (unless if we were in a loud restaurant so I couldn’t hear it and look elsewhere). But seriously, CLOSE YOUR DISGUSTING MOUTH.
Why is it so hard for people to close their damn mouths?
So there you have it – a simple way to earn another notch up the awesome ladder of rainbows.