So I bought a second hand fridge from a bunch of stoners up the road. Turns out that in the middle of the night it no joke, makes laughing and sex noises. No, I’m not getting confused between a fridge and actual people, its the fridge. AND THEN I walk right up to it when its making the noises and it stops. Wtf.
Here’s a list of possibilities I’ve deduced could be the reason:
1. Its an actual living robot that’s having sex with the toaster. Loudly.
2. The stoners have attached a walkie talkie behind the fridge (and if they’re smart enough, a spy camera to record my reaction).
3. For some reason the fridge is making ME stoned.
4. I’m in a coma and this is my strange dream life. I guess my brain got bored with the norm so has added a ‘craaaaazy fridge’ into the mix.
5. There’s some sort of parallel universe that’s using the fridge as a portal. I’m pretty sure some chocolates got eaten, so I guess ‘aliens’ like chocolate (ok I’m starting to think number 3 may be helping with this idea).
6. I’ve actually finally gone insane. Or was I insane all along? Dang.
7. Its some sort of lame recurring dream. Which I sometimes have before I even go to bed.
I’m starting to think maybe this is the reason WHY those boys were stoners. The fridge drove them to drugs to escape the reality of their sad life living in close proximity to a sex addicted (but jolly) fridge. And now they’re all clean shaven, suit-wearing, pillars of society, while I’m slowly driven to insanity.
In other news, does anyone want to buy a fridge?