Turning Lamebos Into Rainbows

Rambling Goat and Nonsense Unicorn present… The Awesome Person's Guide to Life

So Hot Right Now

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Isn’t there meant to be some ‘hot’ period between getting pimples and your boobs starting to edge south?? Well its stupid asking the question because it seems I have both. Which basically means that I have to walk around with my shoulders pulled back to an unnatural position to keep my boobs where I’d like them to stay, and smear toothpaste all over that big juicy pimple that has popped up 1hr before I need to go out.

You might now say ‘oh makeup will help you look your best’, well think again because I never wear it, so on the odd occasion I do wear it (weddings etc), I’m pretty sure I look like a drag queen. Or maybe its more like I’ve had a face transplant? Either way its too strange, and if that’s my best then I should probably just lay in a foetal position on the floor instead of going out.

Anyway I’ve figured out the best way to look my best – avoid standing within 3 metres of a mirror. The closer you get to the bastard, the more problems you find. So as long as no one is reeling back in horror, then who the f*ck cares! I don’t have to deal with looking at myself, that’s everyone else’s problem to deal with 😀

Rambling Goat


Author: ramblingg0at

Life loves to set me up for its own entertainment. But instead of me hiding these awkward moments, I plan on sharing them for my own (and possibly your) amusement. Now who's laughing, life?

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