So I just saw this giant freakin grasshopper. Let it be known that I have a phobia of grasshoppers and i’m not exaggerating its size because of this fact, its body was the size of my pinky finger.
Well it turns out the bloody thing was on the side of my shirt as I was crapping. The only reason I saw it was cos I thought there was a ‘hair’ stuck to my shirt and went to pull it off – it turns out it was attached to the grasshoppers head and it was an antennae, not a hair. Well I’ve never crapped quicker. And never de-robed quicker. So that shirt is outside until I grow enough courage to pick it up again. Aka never. Thanks life!