Ok look, I get that we have to work to make money. But then we spend the money we earn on things to amuse us in the little amount of free time we have left. So i’m keen to work out a way for minimal work and maximum free time. And I think I’ve figured out a way to do this. Become a freak.
Ok at this point you’re probably wondering how I magically become a freak one day, and how a freak gets paid for being freaky? Well I use the word freak because we dont really have another word or nice way of saying it in western society (and back in the day, there were ‘freak shows’), but in places like India, you’re praised for being unusual. What a lovely way to think 🙂 We should really try to be more open minded, and I hope you will be when I suggest some possible ways to, as Karl Pilkington put it, “get out of the washing up duties”.
Please note, these have actually been done before (according to Ripley’s Believe it or not);
- Hold your hand closed for 12 years until your nails grow through the palm of your hand
- Hold your foot behind your back until it gets stuck and stays there
- Deliberately sit down and refuse to stand for 40 years
- Put soil in your bottom lip, plant a mustard seed and wait for 4 days until in grows
- Hold both arms above your head for 20 years
- Grow your fingernails for 27 years
I guess for the whole earning money part you’re going to need a hat out in front of you. You cant exactly join the circus with the *intention* of doing something. And you’ll probably want a sign to explain what you’re doing seeing as it’s not entirely obvious.. But its a possible alternative to working everyday? Woo!